Posted on 02/24/2005 8:11:44 PM PST by traumer
I had a tongue ring. After the tenth inquiry for a date, I was glad I swallowed the thing by accident.
People who carve off their genitals with rusty pocket knives report bleeding.
People who repeatedly hit themselves in the head with hammers report increased instances of headache.
People who refuse to bathe suffer increased incidence of foul odors.
People who insist on swimming in vats of acid report a marked increase in skin problems.
In all serousness, how are these people surprised that when you poke holes in parts of your body where none existed before, when you mangle your body's largest organ (the skin), that the body would react to that, and not always in a favorable way? Amazingly, stunningly stupid.
Gee, you would think that live tissue would be real accommodating to being pieced and subjected to all types of bacteria.
Awwww, they're suffering, maybe we should have a national health plan that could pay for any medical treatment they might need.......
Well...I'm not sure but I think they're the same, though getting a hood ornament is supposed to hurt more because the needle goes right through the thing. That's a favorite among ho's and lesbians.
Nipple piercing, genital piercing is done with the hope of achieving a patent fistula which will get obstructed is it is not kept clean. This is not to mention holding some idiot still when he elects to shove an icepick thru the glans of his penis. Now we get into lower genitourinary problems with outflow obstruction. If he wants a midurethral obstruction, just go out and get a good case of the clap. You will rue the day you ran a metal rod thru your pecker.
I am perplexed but not yet pierced. Thank you.
great post!
Texas Songwriter surgeon here is one for your files. I am an anesthesiologist and have seen a couple airway emergencies due to a foreign body (piercing). But what REALLY cracks me up are the idiots who want to keep the tongue stud in during surgery...that takes a lot of brains. And for the oddest piercing I have ever seen -- a uvula piercing...go figure.
IDIOCY HURTS!!
I never want to see the words "icepick" and "penis" used in that context again. I'm gonna be walking hunched over till next week from the thought.
Agreed.
Although an authentic flint tipped Cheyenne war arrow through the head may be cool for parties.
Doofus: "Doc, I've had trouble peeing since I drove a 16
penny nail through the head of my penis."
Doc: "And you expected what...?
I wonder how they suppress the cough reflex when doing a uvula piercing. I have never seen that. I have seen some other strange things. Once, after a married couple watched a porn movie depicting one partner placing a small potatoe on a garden hose, then place it in the rectum of the male, and then turn on the garden hose with a good head of pressure, he came to the ER with an acute belly. We opened him and I shoveled shit out of the peritoneal cavity for 2 hours. Unbelievable. You know, that pervert never ran a fever over 99 1/2. I did put 8 one inch penrose drains in. But I digress.
I consider that I was born with all the holes I'm entitled to...and if metal is added to my body, it will be because a bone is missing.
I suppose a topical anesthetic spray would do the trick. The potato story is unbelievable -- you found the potato in the cecum? I have given anesthesia for some exlaps for FB, but NOTHING like that -- LOL. It is amazing what our patients will do -- and even more amazing what they will admit.
I hope she never has an MRI.
Ahh yes, the glamerous life of our jobs -- usually at 3 in the morning. There are just some stories that I do not tell my wife or parents :)
It usd to be you only saw these guys in the sideshow at the circus.
Now they're in your family.
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