Posted on 02/21/2005 11:46:31 PM PST by MadIvan
How can Coyote battle gravity in space, where everyone floats?
WATCH out world, Im angry. Warner Brothers is messing with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, updating them for the 21st century. Is nothing sacred? Calling them Loonatics, as if they were escapees from Bedlam, these descendants of our familiar friends will rocket through space some 700 years in the future. Instead of their natural fur and feathers, they have been redrawn wearing hard-edged space costumes and now resemble Japanese robots.
Most appallingly, each has been given a crime-fighting superpower. Why? When did we stop believing that ordinary human traits such as intelligence, bravery, tenacity and loyalty comprised heroic virtues?
According to the president of Warner Brothers Animation, Sander Schwartz, "this is ... intended for kids [6-11 years old] who are growing up in the internet age, an age of technology, an age of hip, cool animation". Mister, go watch some reruns. Bugs and his gang are the dernier cri of cool. In 2002, readers of Americas TV Guide (with a circulation in the millions) voted Bugs Bunny the greatest cartoon character of all time. Not bad for a bunny invented before television itself. He beat Homer Simpson, Charlie Brown and Disneys mouse, who limped in at number 19.
THE original animators had grand ambitions, and each film is a masterpiece of wit and sophistication appealing to young and old alike. Bugs came into his own in 1940, when Mel Blanc, inventing an accent that tortured the vowels of Brooklyn and The Bronx, first uttered the immortal words "Whats up, Doc?" Munching his carrot, Bugs planted his first juicy kiss on the lips of arch-enemy, Elmer Fudd. (If thats not subversive, what is?)
Looney Tunes alerted kids like myself to a variety of cultural touchstones. To this day, hearing Strausss Blue Danube makes me picture the ever-extending hump of a rabbit burrow tunnelling across the landscape before Bugs pops free. In 1957, Bugs and Elmer starred in Whats Opera, Doc?, which presented Wagners entire Ring Cycle in seven minutes, and became the first animated short inducted into Americas National Film Registry. In another cartoon, Bugs spins the genre on its head, tormenting Daffy Duck by switching his backgrounds and props, messing up the soundtrack, even going so far as to erase and redraw him.
ACCORDING to reports, the new cartoons are "action-oriented, filled with chases and fights". But isnt the entire substance of the Roadrunner/Wile E Coyote relationship an elaborate high-speed chase punctuated by explosions? What the hell more does it take to satisfy kids these days?
Worse still, the proposed modernisation must inevitably destroy the purity of premise behind Roadrunner cartoons, laid out in ten strict rules by the series creator, Chuck Jones: 1 Roadrunner cannot harm Coyote; 2 No outside force can harm Coyote, only his own ineptitude or the failure of Acme products; 3 Coyote could stop anytime, if he wasnt a fanatic (as defined by Santayana: "one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim"); 4 No dialogue, ever, except "Beep! Beep!"; 5 Roadrunner must stay on the road; 6 All action is confined to the natural environment of the characters; 7 All tools and weapons must be obtained from the Acme Corporation; 8 Whenever possible, make gravity Coyotes greatest enemy; 9 Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his adventures; 10 The audiences sympathy must remain with Coyote.
Take these two out of the American desert and all hell breaks loose. How can Coyote battle gravity in space, where everyone floats? The first time he screeches off a cliff, hell merely waft away unharmed. What fun is that? How can Roadrunner embody perpetual motion if hes going head-to-head with bad guys? Did nobody think this through? Is Warner Brothers so lazy - or creatively void - that it cant invent new characters as compelling as the old?
A COLLEAGUE summed it up neatly: Bugs, Daffy and the rest are at once quintessentially timeless and of their time. In a decade, hard-nosed pre-pubescents will dismiss Loonatics as "so 2005". As for the originals, well, age shall not wither them. Warner Brothers, if youre reading, take my advice: It aint broke. Stop trying to fix it.
Ping!

"EAT HOT MARTIAN DEATH RAY, SANDER SCHWARTZ -- !"
Uhhh ... we are talking about a duck, a rabbit, and a desert bird, right?
BTTT
bump
These loonatics SUCK! Bad enough having kids and having to deal with Pokemon and such... now they gotta desecrate Bugs Bunny!?!?!
"Of course you know, THIS means war!"
Well, at least they're not using the update as a tool of
leftist indoctrination, like they did with Tiny Toons.
Mostly, we are talking about a "wabbit!" A special wabbit that Elmer Fudd would invite for dinner, with a shotgun in his hand. If Elmer hadn't clarified that he had cooked dinner for Bugs, Bugs woulda thwown a wock at Elmer.
No, we are talking about our childhood fwends...
Well, at least they're leaving Krazy Kat alone...
Absowutely. And fwends don't let fwends be wabbit-napped by evil plutocwats who want to turn them into something that looks wike it should be in a gay-pwidde pawade.
It'thh DEEETHHPIKKKABLE!
Yes, but HIGHLY anthropomorphic ones!
Destroy them with your space Mod-ewe-late-ore, Kent!
This sucks! They managed to cast Daffy as Duck Dodgers without changing him, so what's with this superhero crap? Sounds kind of '60's to me.
Saw the previews and was disgusted. They can't accept the idea of classics. They have made me SO angry!
I saw Duck Dogers on Cartoon Network a little while ago. They took the best Loony Tunes episodes and made them stupid.
The whole problem is that there is no slapstick anymore.
The thing that made Loony Tunes funny was people getting shot, wacked on the head, clotheslined, falling off cliffs. The new Loony Tunes has very little of that. They also tend to focus more on why things happen even if it's not even funny.
Why does Elmer Fudd want to shoot Bugs, it doesn't really matter, it's just a good excuse for Bugs to dress up in Women's clothes and pretend to seduce Elmer, which also wouldn't happen in a modern Loony Tunes. Everything has to have a reason in the new Loony Tunes.
I think that's why Aqua Teen Hungerforce has been so successful. The show doesn't make sense and that's the beauty of it.
Oh Thit! You made me laugh so hard I can't wemember how to paste this in my cwapbook. I mean scwapbook. It's a keeper! Oh, well. Off for another package of depends...

"EAT HOT MARTIAN DEATH RAY, SANDER SCHWARTZ -- !"
Shhh, Marvin! Be vewy, vewy quiet; we're hunting Warner Brothers executives. We need to sneak up on them, and then....
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