Posted on 02/19/2005 2:03:35 PM PST by nuconvert
Children Who Lost Parents in Deadly Nightclub Fire Coping With Loss, Change
By Brooke Donald/ Associated Press Writer
Feb 19, 2005
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) - Nathan Mattera's summers now include bereavement camp, and his after-school activities have been pared to counseling and playing near home. He stays close to his grandmother, now his legal guardian, and occasionally sleeps at the foot of her bed. The 11-year-old boy's life was uprooted when fire ripped through the Station nightclub, leaving him one of nearly 70 children who lost a parent in the blaze.
Two years after the fire that killed 100, some of the children remain in limbo, waiting for a judge to decide who they should live with permanently. About a dozen have moved, and one boy lost both parents in the fire, according to Family Services of Rhode Island.
"These kids lost so much, too much," says Nathan's grandmother, Diane Mattera. "There's nothing you can do to make them feel better. You try, but they lost everything."
The fire, sparked by the pyrotechnics of 1980s rock band Great White, also injured more than 200 people. The survivors, and the families of those killed, say they are still waiting for justice.
The criminal trial of nightclub owners Jeffrey and Michael Derderian and former Great White tour manager Daniel Biechele have been put off until at least January. All three were charged with 200 counts of involuntary manslaughter.
Civil lawsuits are on hold while the criminal case goes forward.
"You're kind of held hostage," said Anne Marie D'Alessio, director of the Rhode Island Victims' Advocacy and Support Center. "There's no closure. That's a myth. But you can close chapters."
For the children, the passage of time has not necessarily made the loss of a parent any easier. There's been a resurgence in the number of people seeking counseling as the scope of the loss has settled in, said Jeffrey Brusini, senior vice president of Family Services of Rhode Island.
Some of the children were from working class families struggling to survive, teenage parents, children born to single mothers and divorce. Those situations resulted in a handful of custody battles and child relocations, exacerbating the tragedy for children trying to move forward.
"It makes the mourning process more difficult because there is ambiguity and uncertainty in the child's life. It causes stress," said Steven Barreto, a psychologist at Bradley Hospital, Rhode Island's only psychiatric hospital for children.
Many grandparents who became primary caretakers, like Mattera, already knew much of the routine of the children, being involved in their lives even when their sons and daughters were alive.
But other children ended up with family members they barely knew, or distant relatives or family friends who are now fighting to keep custody. Many of those killed in the fire didn't have wills specifying who would get custody of their children if they died. But even for those who did, trouble has presented itself.
Following the fire, Justin DeMaio, then 7, lived with his grandmother in West Warwick. About four months later, he moved to Maine to live with his late mother's cousin, Steven Beardsworth, his wife and their teenage son. Dina DeMaio, 30, a part-time waitress at The Station, named Beardsworth as Justin's guardian in her will.
But the Beardsworths' custody arrangement is so far only temporary. Justin's father has gone to court for custody.
Beardsworth said the uncertainty was frustrating for Justin at first, but he's adjusted well to his new life up north.
"A lot of people were against what I did, but it's what Dina asked for and I wanted to respect that," he said.
Justin, who turns 10 in April, has started to talk more openly about his mom, wanting to hold tight her memory.
"When the (New England) Patriots won the Super Bowl, he said he believed his mom had a hand in it," Beardsworth said.
Waiting for justice my ass. I guess they would be alive if they stayed home with their kids. Life is all about decisions you make.
Give me a break - Some of the most ugly comments I've ever seen on FR - Yes, working class people with Children do, can (and should) fine time to get out once in a while!
That does not mean they deserve to die...or if they do die while stepping outside the home for a bit...that it is in someway less tragic.
Your tone is simply ugly and needless.
Don't put words in my fingers, pal. I never wrote that they deserved to die. If your reading comprehension skills are that poor, "fine" somebody else to misconstrue.
Amen - and, anyway, it's the kids that are the victims needing help
I have to to say you've got a point there, when our kids were young we ordered take out and rented movies. Only within the past few years (4 or so)have we gone out for the evening. To dinner, not a nightclub. Our kids are now 18 & 20!
And that tone is ugly and needless. Period.
Lighten up! LOL!
There is nothing of humor or good spirits regarding either the ramifications of the article....nor of the fellow freeprers posted comments -
Odd for you to even suggest the need to lighten up - I have as good a sense of humor as the next guy - This however, was in no way, shape, or form even a arena for one's levity to come into play.
Agreed, Devsix.... Good grief. "No parent should ever go "out" for the evening." How heartless and arrogant. Who are you intending to slap, these kids? Or the dead?
Alice, I think you took a wrong turn.... the LOL thread is right next door.
No one is implicating that what happened was not a tragedy and these kids do not need help, I'm sure the guardians are collecting SSI. This was a Heavy Metal Rock show. What I think what was implied was that the Parents should have been acting like parents not teenagers.
How utterly ridiculous - These were simply husbands and wives getting outside the house ...going to some dive bar and laughing about old times (not clubbing!) -
By your logic there should be no over 40 softball, basketball or flag footballs leagues - My god, these people are acting like teenagers....not parents.
Please.
Tell that to the flamers!!!!!!!!!
GROW UP!
Real parents make sacrifices for their kids!
So now going out to a dive bar means you don't sacrifice for your kids? What utterly perverse logic.
You are a rock.
Don't mind them, I know where your coming from! So uptight and leaning to the left!
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