I am Bic Pentameter
I am the town janitor
Because I ate hamburger
I increased my diameter
Til the sweetest girl I ever knew
Said you're too fat, I won't go with you!
So I moved heaven and earth
To decrease my girth
And though I did it to spite her
Now she calls me Bic Lighter.
I wrote this during high school, when I was assigned to write a poem in iambic pentameter. Oh, well, you know what they say: a poet in the 18th century is a genius; a poet in the next room is a bum.