The idea that gays lose themselves in self-destructive mindless hedonism to drown out the pain of being rejected by society is a common theme these days. I think it also has to to with the male sex drive being multiplied by two. If all the girls I knew in college were as willing as the guys, it would have been a real mess.
"...gays lose themselves in self-destructive mindless hedonism to drown out the pain of being rejected by society... "
A common rationalization, but as you imply, largely BS.
It has been used variously for alcoholism, drug addiction, suicide, "the suffering of the artist," all manner of dysfunctional aggression.
It is a function of narcissistic rage and the sexualization of the aggressive drive. It is a sado-masochistic tango more akin to ritualistic forcible rape than to heterosexual intercourse.