Canada Can't Save You

U.S.News & World Report ^ | February 21, 2005 | John Leo

[quidnunc]

Some 10,000 to 20,000 Americans, unable to come to terms with the re-election of President Bush, are believed poised to leave the United States and become Canadians. Many, of course, will remain permanently in the poised position, just like Alec Baldwin, who has apparently been on the tarmac for four years awaiting a plane to some other country.

But suppose the disaffected 10,000 to 20,000 actually depart. Will they find happiness? Will they achieve peace of mind north of the border? No, they won't. Instead they will find the following:

Strange and maddening football games. For reasons nobody can fathom, Canadian football is played on an enormous field, with 12 players on a side and only three downs, so every third play tends to be a punt. Canadian football alone is said to have driven an estimated 2 million Canadians across the border to become U.S. citizens. Many believe Bush could not have won without the disaffected Canadian football vote.

More Canadian music than you can imagine. Radio stations must play Canadian music at least 35 percent of the time. Strict rules determine what music is Canadian enough to fill the quota. Though Celine Dion is Canadian, her hit "My Heart Will Go On" was insufficiently Canadian, since the lyricist, the songwriter, and the recording were non-Canadian. As a result, thoroughly Canadian pop music stays on radio long enough to drive many Canadians to distraction, drink, and even Canadian football.

Except for murder, a rate of violent crime as disgraceful as that of the United States. Many U.S. newspapers salute Canada for its low crime rate. But according to the International Crime Victimization Survey, the rate of certain "contact" crimes (robbery, sexual assault, and assault with force) is over 1.5 times higher in Canada than in the United States.

-snip

[GeronL]

can't post this one in full huh? Oh wait...

[GeronL]

This ought to make DUers cry

[jdm]

bttt

[bubman]

Why do these "refugees" presume they will automatically become Canadian citizens?

Pretty arrogant no?

[wagglebee]

Why do these leftists like the writer at US News & World Report continually talk about the difficulties the leftists will encounter trying to move to Canada. JUST LET THEM LEAVE!

[Feckless]

Great... that's all we need. Some a-hole trying to talk them out of leaving.

[Darkwolf377]

10-20k "ready to leave"??? It's been over three months! They're like a girlfriend who threatens to leave you over and over to the point where you want her to go so you won't have to go through THAT whole thing again.

Leave! Leave! No one is stopping you! You said you hate Bush, and he's a Nazi--why are you living in a Nazi country and supporting its Nazism with your taxes? Or in most cases, taking money from that Nazi state?

The borders are open! Planes leaving all the time! You've got feet!

Leave! Leeeeeeeeave!

[cripplecreek]

Promises promises.

[jocon307]

LOL!

John Leo rules!

[txrangerette]

John Leo, a leftist? Ahhhhh...no!

[yooper]

John Leo is not a leftist.

[Welsh Rabbit]

But suppose the disaffected 10,000 to 20,000 actually depart.

We should be so lucky...

[Sonny M]

Why do these leftists like the writer at US News & World Report continually talk about the difficulties the leftists will encounter trying to move to Canada.

John Leo is well respected, and certainly not a leftist, though his rag is.

He is very fair, and balanced.

You'd be hard pressed to find any conservatives who would call him a liberal.

[wagglebee]

My mistake!
I didn't pay attention to who the author was, I assumed it was a typical MSM leftist.
I apologize profusely.

[wagglebee]

See my response #15, I made a HUGE mistake.

[AlbertWang]

I can not fathom anyone who would give up and move over such a minor setback. We Republicans lived thru 8 years of the Clintons, I don't remember any talk of packing our bags. I'll bet that these folks were ready to give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

[230FMJ]

"ready to give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. Just had a flash of John Belushi in "1942" Funny Line!

[Recovering_Democrat]

Only 20,000??? Hell, I was hoping for 200 times that many...maybe more. 4 million fewer deadbeats on America's streets.

[sionnsar]

Though Celine Dion is Canadian

Who, or what, is this "Celine Dion"? Some kind of cellophane descendant?