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FDR was a Fascist

Tree-Huggers are Fascists too.

PAINT THEIR SWASTIKA GREEN
by Brien Bartels

     Whenever a group of enviro-lefties get together a lot of clumsy comparisons get thrown around concerning Republicans, free-marketeers, businessmen, and their alleged resemblance to fascists and Nazis. Which is odd because those groups, however much you like or loathe them, are of various Christian denominations or even Jewish, don’t advocate street violence or eugenics, don’t tend to subjugate individuals to abstractions like racial purity, etc. In fact the list of dissimilarities goes on and on.
     But, when you look at the political wing of the environmental/socialist movement, the various Green Parties of the world, you see the following ominous parallels.
     The Green Party is led by a bunch of pagan, vegetarian dropouts. So were the Nazis. Hitler was a failed artist and vegetarian. The leader of the SS, Himmler (another soy-sucker), wanted his Black Corps to be the vanguard of a pre-Christian back-to-the-land movement. The rituals and symbols he devised to replace Christian services looked like really bad art direction of a performance of Wagner’s Ring Cycle .
     The Green Party claims to stand for workers’ rights. "Nazi" is short for National Socialist German Workers’ Party.
     Sometimes the Greens wear animal costumes to political functions. The Nazis went to their rallies in drag as well.
     The Greens stand up for farmers and peasants, foreign and domestic. The Nazis were wonderfully agrarian, even advocating organizing farming. They just wanted the farms to be in the Ukraine, tended by the untermench .
     The Greens advocate "decentralization." The Nazis practiced decentralization by giving their colonial governments life and death power over the organic farmers in their jurisdiction.
    The Greens wage a defensive war of sabotage and propaganda for the oppressed peasants of the world. The Nazis waged a defensive war for the oppressed Aryans of Central Europe.
     Greens occasionally smash shop windows to get their point across. One word: Kristalnacht.
     I’m not sure, but I imagine the Greens disapprove of smoking tobacco. The Nazi regime tried to ban smoking in public places, forcing its soldiers to set an example of abstinence.
     The Greens hate guns, especially private ownership of guns. The Nazis inflicted on the world groundbreaking "gun-control" laws, which they tested by confiscating the arms of German Jews.
     The Greens are big tree planters. Seven years ago, an aerial survey of the former East Germany revealed a stand of larch in a forest of pine. These trees, planted by an early and flamboyant supporter of Hitler, formed a huge bright green swastika for a few weeks in spring and a flaming yellow one in the fall. (Ironically, the Germans, those engineers, fooled around for five years before removing the swastika, because they thought cutting down only the larches would just leave a swastika shaped hole in the forest. I guess they eventually got permission to flatten even de-Nazi-fied trees.)
     The Greens want investment in alternative energy. The Nazis pioneered not only synthetic oil from coal (to cope with the small problem of a hopeless war) they also invested a ton of Reich marks in an alternative energy system exploiting an until-then useless substance called uranium.

Brien Bartels is a free-lance writer, humorist, entrepreneur and political activist who lives in Washington state. An edited version of this more-or-less tongue-in-cheek column has been published in the June, 2002 issue of Liberty. It is republished here by permission of the author, to whom the copyright has reverted.