[trubluolyguy]

I live under the assumption it is not safe to put any part of her in your mouth.

[theFIRMbss]

>I live under the assumption it is not safe to put any part of her in your mouth

Mars bar The jaw ache-inducing Mars bar has undergone a makeover in an attempt to make it more popular with women. Read our guide to the best websites on the chocolate chewfest Martha Holmes-Watkins Monday March 18, 2002 1. A Mars a day helps you work rest and play - well, not anymore. This week Mars is changing the most memorable chocolate jingle in TV history to, wait for it, Pleasure you can't measure. 2. The Mars bar itself will also be updated with new features such as a funkier typeface on the wrapper, and a lighter whipped nougat filling. Mars bars used to be pretty challenging to chew, but that familiar caramel-induced jaw ache will soon be forgotten, as Mar bars become even more like Milky Ways. 3. The change of image has come about because Mars bars are considered by women to be too masculine (no hope for Yorkies then). Mars bars apparently go hand in hand with marathon running, football playing and Murray Walker. The nation's favourite formula one commentator is responsible for creating that fabulous rhyming slogan uncannily similar to "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". 4. Chocolate contains three different psychoactive drugs plus sugar. This is why it can cheer you up, energise or comfort you. 5. It can also make you fat. A Mars bar has 230 calories and 12g of fat. An average person needs 2,000 calories per day - less than nine Mars bars. You should probably stop at seven. 6. The most famous Mar bar rumour is one that involved Marianne Faithfull and Mick Jagger enjoying a rather special picnic. She denies it. 7. KitKats are the nation's favourite snack (the chocolate bar, not the cat food). Apparently, what you nibble on says a lot about who you are. 8. Anthea Turner made a hideous chocolate gaffe, when she "accidentally" got photographed munching on a Cadbury's Snowflake in her very own wedding photos. Poor Anthea, she was probably just hungry, what with wedding nerves and all that. She spent her entire honeymoon traumatised by "Flakegate". 9. In Scotland they deep fry Mars bars, Snickers, and even pizza. Heart disease, anyone? 10. It is possible to create a vegan Mars bar but it takes two people two days to make a batch of 100. Beware of depressed vegans.