Why Women Cheat

CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.

The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.

That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.

Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.

He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.

"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.

Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.

After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.

In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.

In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.

"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.

Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.

"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.

A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.

"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.

Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.

"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.

"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.

For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.

"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.

Lest I sound like it is only the women who stray;(and believe me, I KNOW men do too);

I know of a man, who has been married several times. He is now in his mid-50's, and is currently shacking up with a woman, who just underwent cancer surgery. She makes decent money (80k+, annualy), and has a lot of stock with P and G. Around her, he ACTS like he cares about her, BUT would think nothing of going out and having a fling. Recently, he has been working many miles away from home, and talks to other guys, of "the women he meets in bars, in those areas." He has already cheated on her, several times, apparently, and in his previous marriages, he apparently did so, with good, loving women, who genuinely cared about him, only to have him walk all over them, until they could not take any more. He makes fun of me, for only desiring one woman, and a real relationship, saying, "he needs more than one woman". Several days ago, him and his new coworker, or should I say, "drinking buddy", were trying to get me to allow them to "find me a woman. I refused, as they just want to get me drunk, and in a bar with them to be the prey of some whore.

SO-- I don't know why some men and women cheat, and use people-- to me, it is sick, and causes hurt to the other party. It comes down to immaturity, and selfishness, IMHO.

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