Yeah, pretty funny -- I especially like the last one.
Perhaps an Urban Myth... but it sure sounds true....
The list does not end there, either.
> ... At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), ...
Not recent. The last (as in final) COMDEX was 2003.
The 2004 show was cancelled, and probably won't return.
The Gates remarks might be true, but if so, they are
many years old.
How old are you? That joke's been around since Windows 95.
11. When you hit the brakes, the car would ask "Are you sure you want to stop?"
*L* Nothing against you posting this, I did the Snopes link in response to the "How true this is and whether or not it actually happened, I have no idea" part of your headline. The joke itself is great :)
How about this one?
"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
[pause] "Yes, it is."
[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
[muffled] "Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
[still muffled] "I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
[clear again] "No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]
"A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!"
Or these?
These are actual calls to Tech support help desks
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."
Bump....
A helicopter pilot in Seattle ran into severe problems: communications and navigation instruments out. He was flying strictly by VFR and was not aware of where he was in the city [new to the area]. He came upon a large building in Seattle, and wrote on a large poster board: 'Where am I?'
The people in the building wrote back on a large poster board they had: 'You are in a helicopter.'
The pilot immediately knew where he was, and was able to fly back to the airport/heliport he came from. After conveying part of this to a friend, the friend asked him: How did you figure out where you were?
The pilot replied: That's easy -- I knew I was at the Microsoft building. I knew what they told me was totally correct but useless information.
A man left for a holiday to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send her an e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her web address, he did his best to type it from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note went to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. PS. Sure is hot down here.
"All my life, I always wanted to be a somebody --Now I see I should have been more specific"
"Some mornings, it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
True or not it's true.
I'm sure this is a joke....but it does give a little bit of insight into the mind -- of a booger-eating geek.