As a matter of geological fact, the California "Blue" counties ARE leaving, just not fast enough!
Posted on 01/30/2005 10:16:50 AM PST by TWohlford
Dear President Bush:
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving.
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all of the North East.
We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST next Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then.
So you get Texas and all the former slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. (Okay, we have to keep the Governor; we can live with that.) We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole Miss. We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get all the technological innovation in Alabama. We get about two-thirds of the tax revenue, and you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms to support, and we know how much you like that. Did I mention we produce about 70% of the nation's veggies? But heck the only greens the Bible-thumpers eat are the pickles on their Big Macs.
Oh yeah, another thing, don't plan on serving California wine at your state dinners. From now on it's imported French wine for you. Ouch, bet that hurts. Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to want all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight, just ask your evangelicals. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.
Anyway, we wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.
Sincerely,
California
You know, if you could enjoin all of the blue precincts nationwide into a single region, they would make up the surface area, intellect, courage and morality of France. Coincidence? I think not.
Or maybe not. The writer is more concerned about wine.
Well, after the extremely short war, the Reconstruction will be a lot of fun. :-)
Really! Gregoire is the governor of King County. Unfortunately the damage she will inflict will affect us all. :-(
Yeah, lets pretend the rest of the country isn't being inundated and completely over run with millions of illegals. Try and convince them it's all isolated and restricted to Cal. Good thinking.
Tokyo Rose would be proud.
As a matter of geological fact, the California "Blue" counties ARE leaving, just not fast enough!
I didn't even know Boxer could type.
Orange County voted 60% for President Bush. I love living in Orange Conty.
Damn, I cannot wait for this to happen. Does this mean that the blue state voting block that is in the red states have to move to California? Good riddance to the Memphis and Jackson, Ms deadbeats!!
You mean, like the Marshall Space Flight Center and all the defense industries in and around Huntsville?
"you can take the Blue Precincts, not the entire state."
Exactly. Not everyone in this state is a God-hating communist. There are millions of consevatives throughout this state, even in areas that are considered democratic strongholds.
Democrats can posture all they want. Their childishness knows no bounds.
You don't have to tell me! (I'm a geologist) :-)
[Alert - here comes a lib!]
quick! everyone fall back into stupid-redneck-hick mode
duh...
And California is not the only state to produce wine. Here in North Carolina we have some that is very good also. So I guess we really don't need California for anything!
Then we win by default. Either through attrition or conquest.
Examples of California State laws and programs that are socialist please.
Right on Baby!!!
Of course, separation will never happen, but the arrogance of liberals is simply astounding. The insults directed at the rest of the country who supported Bush are indicative of their mindset.
haha! good one!
Oh yeah - we get to keep all Federal installations - like El Toro, Pendleton, etc.
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