Posted on 01/28/2005 12:13:32 PM PST by BreitbartSentMe
Recycled beer comes out at 98.6 degrees.
I don't know about you, but I like my beer a little cooler than that.
Worlds Worst First Date....
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee be side the road, or it would b e the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.
Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car' s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free......So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down. or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment - - - - This gives a whole new meaning to being ............. "pissed off".
ask mhking
That you would even think about such a thing makes me really worry about you. Some people! ; )
He gets the last laugh - they locked the other thread.
But drinking the beer first makes you feel better about the whole situation!
I'd say using liquid heated to 98.5 would be get you where you wanted to be alot quicker.
Perhaps there's a PHD in the house that would care to crunch the numbers & tell us exactly how much quicker.
Or not.
"Sixty bottle of beer on the wall.
"Sixty bottles of beer.
"If one of those bottles should happen to fall..."
My thoughts exactly, but I'd change it a bit...
60 bottles of beer in the car, 60 bottles of beer!
Chug one down, piss on the ground, 59 bottles of beer in the car!
59 bottles of beer in the car, 59 bottles of beer!
Chug one down, piss on the ground, 58 bottles of beer in the car!
58 bottles of beer...
Before Eaker adds 5 cases of beer to his emergency kit, remind him he lives in Houston, Texas.
I, however, will be taking this article home to the wife.
>Wouldn't pouring the beer directly on the snow have almost the same effect?<
COMMUNIST!!!
He had to survive for 4 days!
He needed his nutrition!
It would have been a SIN to waste it!
Clearly the optimimum survival kit!
Call him the Houdini of Hops.
Great. Now the poor St. Bernards will have to lug around half-kegs under their necks in the mountains.
This is from an interesting site. Some of the other stories on there besides this one are eyebrow raising in terms of either "you've got to be kidding" or "what a crock."
Ever stop to think that if I HADN'T added a sub-heading you may not have beaten me?
what type of person are you ?
1. It would be - no need to say - an aweful waste
2. Beer contains - as one knows - lots and lots of calories - the physical unit for heat energy
3. did you consider the psychological long term effect of having wasted 60 cans of your favorite ?
"From now on, I'm traveling with at least two and a half cases of beer. :-)"
Don't forget about the need to refresh supplies by frequent rotation.
Pees release me, let me go...
"better than the first story" ping
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