Gay marriage on the Simpsons

Baltimore Sun ^ | 01/26/05 | Stephen Kiehl

[dilbert80]

Coming out in Springfield Which of 'The Simpsons' regulars is gay -- and will get married when their town legalizes same-sex weddings? By Stephen Kiehl Sun Staff James Dobson has his work cut out for him. Last week, the conservative flame-thrower denounced SpongeBob SquarePants - the harmless cartoon sponge who holds hands with his friends and lives in an underwater pineapple - for appearing in a "pro-homosexual video." Next month, a regular character on The Simpsons will come out and be married in a same-sex wedding. Simpsons producers haven't revealed which character turns out to be gay, but that hasn't stopped fans from speculating or placing bets on who it might be. Patty Bouvier, the chain-smoking, raspy-voiced sister of Marge who has rarely dated men, seems to be the leading contender - one Web betting site, PaddyPower.com, stopped taking wagers because so much money was being placed on her. But before spreading more idle gossip, let's deal in facts.

[Safetgiver]

I'll bet it's Apu (pu).

[APFel]

The Simpsons lost its heart in 1999, it lost its soul in 2000. The comedy used to be all nuance, reference jokes, and other "heady" comedy. Now the comedy is mostly physical (which Tom and Jerry and most other cartoons did much better in the '50s). I haven't laughed at The Simpsons after the "Simpsons go to New York" episode.

Bart used to act like a 7 year old boy (The "Lemon Tree" episode, the "shoplifting the videogame" episode) now he just hangs around to zing some foul-mouthed one liners.

Homer, while always a buffoon, used to want to "do right" by his family and earn their respect. Now he just trips over things and acts angry all of the time.

Marge used to be the conscience of the family, but now she is starting to behave more like the modern incarnation of Homer... For example, this season she poisoned her competitor's food entries with baby ear medicine (not to mention her boob job and her road rage issues). While she has never been perfect (the Burn's Casino episode where she is revealed to have a gambling addiction) this was done with some degree of taste and tact.

Lisa hasn't been the same since she became the voice of the radical left. While I understand this was done in order to distinguish her character better (it was also done earlier in the series, pre- 1999) I find her boorish now.

The supporting characters used to represent some archetypes of "Joe American", but the writers have taken so many liberties with them of late that they are all just ugly.

Just my opinion. I have watched the first few episodes of the last few seasons to see if they get any better, but they never do. It joins the legions of other shows in the annals of stupid television garbage.

APf

[weezel]

Lenny and Carl, could very well be, they have been promoting them as gay for the last few years.

[wallcrawlr]

My bet is on Lenny and Carl

[ItCanHappenToYou]

Sideshow Bob marries Barney Gumble.
Milhouse serves as the flower boy.
Betcha a donut.

[Modernman]

No, it'd have to be the kid's TV character. The clown.

There's no evidence Krusty is gay. He has a kid, IIRC, has dated a lot of showbiz starlets and was elected to Congress as a Republican.

[Texas Federalist]

I think Disco Stu and the Bumblebee Man would make the best gay couple.

[Incandesia]

Hey hey hey!
Sideshow Bob kicks A$$, and is straight as a ruler; He's a republican, too. Cultured, intelligent, abhores modern television culture...If it weren't for the whole child-murdering thing, he'd be the perfect man.

[Sensei Ern]

Where can I bet? I would like to put a dollar on Ned. I would bet more, but my wife would kill me.

[dangus]

Moslems and non-religious Jews.

[xm177e2]

I thought the Bumblebee man had a family?

[dangus]

I can't believe I just caleld Moe, "Mel."

[xm177e2]

Hmmm... actually Bumblebee Man is divorced...

[Old Professer]

Can you imagine taking Levitra before the biggest game of the year and then, four hours later with the game tied in overtime, realize you either have to jump in the car and run all over town with the seat pushed all the way back so you can turn the steering wheel looking for an emergency room with a sympathetic male on duty or suffer the undisclosed dire fate advertised?

[dangus]

>> If it weren't for the whole child-murdering thing, <<

Yeah, Republicans tend to get touchy about murdering children.

[dangus]

No, you are quite right: Smithers is very definitely gay, but very definitely closeted.

Of course, it is all moot. The show, once pegged to knowck off King Cosby, gets about a 3 to 5 in the Nielson's ratings. Less relevant than "The West Wing."

The sorry thing is that it dillutes the syndicated run.

[Old Professer]

Well said; I appreciate people who can write in the daylight.

[zook]

Will Duff's Brewery use the occasion to release its new product, "Big Game Ale"?

[winodog]

That would be the obvious matchup. I look for them to do something suprising. Like Barney. He has always had a "sweet" side to him.