Posted on 01/26/2005 12:29:11 AM PST by Gengis Khan
With the Republic growing younger, trendier, hipper each day, Delhi Times argues for a make-over of the Republic Day routine. First, we present the PM a Gen Next, more in-sync speech for D-Day...
Ok, citizens welcome to this Republic Day thingie. Like all you guys know who I am. I am the boss. I am the supremo. I'm the prime fellow. And man! I say this with rockin' confidence 'coz the big lady has given me the nod to do my thing. Get what I mean dudes and dudettes. Comprende ?
First of all, lemme deal with this parade thingmajig. Guys its becoming a little blah. You know floats after floats with kuchipuddi dancers and dhoti type dudes. From next year we're gonna shake up things a little. We'll keep some guns and tanks and stuff like that 'coz they're a real blast, but the rest of the stuff is too uncool. Yeah. We'll move with the times. There'll be a lounge bar on wheels. A few fashion shows. Live body piercing. A moving tattoo parlour. And it ain't gonna be in the morning. Man! it's murder waking up so early. It'll be at night. After which the whole of Rajpath will become a huge dance floor with lasers etc. Yo, we'll rock the Tiranga !
Now, let me move on to the state of the nation. It's cool man. Things are ginger, peachy. The economic growth is like 5 or 7 per cent or some good number like that. Forex reserves are at 100 million or 1000 gazillion -- like we got loads of dollars! And the stock market baby, I'm telling you guys -- buy India now. Swadeshi is still alive -- Vivek Oberoi was wearing a khadi kurta the other day. But self-reliance I won't talk about 'coz Anil and Mukesh are still sorting that one out. Other indicators are also juicy man. The per capita income is up by 3.7 per cent, or 7.3 per cent -- I can never remember which. We got loads more roads. And it's officially confirmed the average Indian is having 11 per cent more sex. Yeah, citizens, gimme 5! (five more years, heh heh!).
On to national security and India's standing in the world. Bush is behavin', by George! About India Blair Cares. The Japs and Koreans are so busy selling us TVs that they ain't gonna rock the boat. And Mushy has assured me that the only way Pak is gonna attack us is through Shoaib Akhtar! Finally let me come to some steps that are gonna make the PM's (that's me guys, the chief dude, the supremo, the Man) office more friendly. We're gonna start a reality show called Minister Minister , where you get to see the workings of the cabinet all 24 hours, and every week you viewers can vote and kick out anyone you want to. We're also starting a website linked directly to the Armed Forces and if enough of you click on it together, you can launch a few missiles to the target country of your choice. Lastly, you cats can now SMS me your suggestions directly. Just write PM followed by your suggestion and text to 1947. Cool eh? That's it for this year then. I'm sure our forefathers (I'm told its five-fathers if you count carefully), would be proud. Happy Republic Day. Rock on India!
dude shoaib's injured!!
well even if he's not dont forget we've got sehwag kicking his butt right from the very start!!!
dude shoaib's injured!!
well even if he's not dont forget we've got sehwag kicking his butt right from the very start!!!
CHEERS TO INDIA!!
JAI HIND.
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