This Marine Fighter pilot retires after Viet Nam, and spends the next 30+ years leading a successful life when 911 occurrs. Goes to the local recruiter and tells him he wants back in. Says gonna kill rag heads Semper Fi, Do or Die oorah.
The Gunny tells him he's too old. The former pilot says no sweat, got a buddy at the pentagon, oorah. Calls his buddy at the pentagon and once again is told he is simply to old. No sweat, buy a boat gonna kill rag heads Semper Fi Do or Die Oorah.
So he buys a boat and is rowing it across the big water when St Peter sees him and points him out to God and asks "what am I to do about him?". God says take his brain and he'll turn around not remembering where he is headed. St Peter takes his brain, but still the Marine is rowing singing gonna kill rag heads Semper Fi Do or Die Oorah.
St. Peter once again points him out to God and says "now what", to which God says take his heart, it is from there his passion flows. So St. Pete removes his heart. The Marine is still rowing and singing gonna kill rag heads Semper Fi, Do or Die OORAH !!!!
Now St. Pete says to God, I really don't know what to do now, and God says take his balls, that removes his aggression, and St Pete does that. The marine turns his boat around and sings "Anchors away my boys".....
Semper Fi Do or Die...OoRah.......I really like that one. Thanks for sharing.....
Now, just you wait a minute! The way I heard it was:
An old Submarine Sailor walked into a bar, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the Submariner saw his dolphins and asked, "Are you a real Submariner?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, riding boats. Snorkeling, deep dives, Diesel Boats, Nuclear Power, Med Runs, Arctic Runs, SPECOPS, WESTPACs. Runs to the Caribbean, Holy Loch, Rota, Guam, 2 day runs, 6 month deployments, been through the ditch, and up to the pole. Pearl, La Madd, Fort Lauderdale, San Juan, tracking ruskies, dodging P-3s. Been depth charged, torpedoed, tracked with Active Sonar, detected by SOSUS, built them, decommissioned them, overhauled them, re-commissioned them. Been a Blue Nose, a Shellback, and a Golden Dragon. Blown from test depth, gone emergency deep, rode Tridents, 688s, 637s, 594's, Skipjack class, drug runs, liquor runs, crazy Ivans, been in trail, used a Steinke hood. Been through the tower, dodged Russian air power, fought flooding, fires, reactor scrams. Drove boats, stood watch on the RPCP, BCP, SCP, and ECP, so I guess I am a Submariner.
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that just about everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old Submariner looked at his dolphins and asked, "Are you a real Submariner?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
Anchors away, indeed!