You know you're a redneck when...
My cousins live in NC after being northerners for many years. Have a beautiful private farm with a long, rolling driveway. While out of town guests from up north were visiting, Joe took the trash out to the end of the driveway and saw a huge snake (something poisonous), pulled out his gun, shot it and was really excited to take it back up to the house to show their guests, because I guess this thing was a monster. Guests were horrified, but my cousin Barb laughed like crazy, because she said: "Wow, you know you're a redneck when you start showing off your roadkill to your northern friends!"
To add to this, a few days later, their daughter who is an entertainment exec for a large television network called them and said, 'Hi Mom - tell dad to pick up the other phone, I have someone here I want you both to say hello to.' So both Barb & Joe are on the phone, and who other than Jeff Foxworthy is on the line! They told him the roadkill story and he loved it! :)
Great stories Dasaji. I can envision my husband handling the snake episode just a tad differently - he'd have pickup up the snake to show our guests a live specimen. Then he'd have duct taped the head, placed the snake in HIS freezer (we have one for his exclusive use) until he could give the snake to his taxidermist friend. LOL!
Ya might be a redneck if ...
You have to bring a pistol with while taking out the trash.