Your Favorite Johnny Carson Joke?

Free Republic Vanity Kind-of ^ | 01/23/2005 | gortklattu

[gortklattu]

Just the Jokes, OK?

Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah

ED: "Sim - boom - bah

Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?

[NonValueAdded]

I remembered that one as:

Carnac: "Sheep by night"

Ed: "sheep by night"

[ripping open of envelope]

Carnac: "GHOTZBADEH"

[Central Scrutiniser]

I remember once someone asked him on his show if he ever had a word of advice, and he said "Never pet a dog that is on fire"

I've always loved that quote, it was my sig line for a long time.

[My2Cents]

It apparently means the owner of the site where I lifted the graphic doesn't like sharing their pictures....

[Central Scrutiniser]

Answer: Sis Boom Bah
Question: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?

[Central Scrutiniser]

It was so hot

How hot was it?

It was so hot, I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog!

[Snoopers-868th]

What was the picture?

[Petronski]

He didn't say it to Jane Fonda and she didn't have a cat with her?


Huh?

If it wasn't Jane, who cares if she had a cat with her?

And if she had no cat with her, which occasion did she mean?

"again, I just watched it" leaves a lot to be specified: what is "it?" What did you just watch?

[Phsstpok]

Johnny died

I meant that in the sense that he fell out laughing. Sorry, didn't think of the inappropriateness of how I phrased that.

[deadhead]

My Favorite...

A typical Carson moment occurred on October 16, 1987.
Carson always took a special delight in people with
eccentric hobbies, and on this night he had a guest named
Myrtle Young from Fort Wayne, Indiana, whose hobby was
collecting potato chips that looked like other objects -
an angry dog, a sleeping bird, a candle . . .

While Myrtle proudly showed off her fine (and fragile)
collection, Ed McMahon distracted her momentarily and as
she was turned away there was a resounding "crunch" from Carson.
All eyes turned to the host who has just bitten into a potato chip!

Myrtle is in a state of shock, clutching her chest with her
mouth agape and her eyes wide with shock and betrayal.
How could Johnny munch one of her works of art?!?
Ever the grand-master of timing, Carson allowed the gag
to play out for a while before assuring Myrtle and reaching down
to hold up a big bowl of chips he had behind his desk in
preparation for the prank. The laughter went on for several minutes

[irishtenor]

Johnny as Tarzan and Betty White as Jane.

[Phsstpok]

Jane Fonda was a guest on Carson.

She didn't have a cat with her.

She told Johnny her son had told her the Zsa Zsa story (complete with Zsa Zsa having a cat in her lap). Jane told the whole Zsa Zsa story, including the punchline "get that damn cat out of the way and I will."

Johnny fell out laughing.

[Chuck54]

One of my favorites:

Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:

Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!

[GSWarrior]

It was so hot I saw a robin use a pot holder to pick up a worm.

[Petronski]

Johnny was great.

He was greatness. When I heard today that he'd died, I cried.

[wideminded]

"Have you heard about the Jerry Falwell doll?"

"You wind it up and it goes around and pokes its nose into everyone's business."

[Lx]

Damn, I was just saying that to my wife. It's the only Carnack I could remember because it's so damn funny.

[Hildy]

11/11/2004:

Former "Tonight Show" host Johnny Carson donated $5.3 million to his alma mater, the University of Nebraska, to support its fine arts program and help with renovations.

How generous is that!

[manic4organic]

The only one I remember is from Carnac.

Ed: Yassir Arafat

Johnny: Yassir Arafat

(envelope opening)

Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?

[international american]

Cagey, do you know where I can get the video of the Dragnet skit?? I would really appreciate it.

[international american]

Not surprised.