The Silly Bill of the Day (Texas)

TexasInsider.org ^ | 1/19/2005 | Seton Motley

[SwinneySwitch]

The Latest

S.B. No. 104

This bill calls for the mandatory labeling of buckets "with a volume of at least four but not more than six gallons", the label meeting the following requirements:

Removable only by the use of a tool or a solvent. Placed on the side of the bucket near where the handle inserts into the bucket. Conspicuously display(ed), on a contrasting background. Stating "the words, in both English and Spanish":

WARNING Children can fall into bucket and drown--keep children away from bucket with even a small amount of liquid

Tempting Fate

Containing:

--- The likeness of a child reaching into a bucket superimposed with an encircled slash.

--- An exclamation point contrasted against and enclosed by a triangle to the left of the word "WARNING".

I suppose the visual aides are necessary, since those in danger of drowning in a five gallon bucket are all incapable of reading.

This is, of course, incredibly vital legislation because Texas averages seven bucket drownings a year. Out of a population of 22,118,509

[SwinneySwitch]

By: Senator Judith Zaffirini, D-Laredo, my little ChickenD!

[SwinneySwitch]

Silly Bill Ping!

[Dog Gone]

It's probably for her own safety.

[Servant of the 9]

Is there some way to cede Austin to the state of California?

So9

[cabojoe]

How about we trade San Francisco for Austin?

[e5man_r_u?]

Have they amended this bill to include a 5 day waiting period for buying these dangerous buckets? Bucket registrations? Banning carrying concealed buckets?

/lame sarcasm ('m tired)

[JRandomFreeper]

No. Nuke Austin. We'll build a new one. Better than before. Somewhere lower on the Brazos.

But, for God's Sake... Nuke Austin. Now.

Hep....

/john

[JRandomFreeper]

How about we trade San Francisco for Austin?

Oh, h@^^ no. We've got plenty of trouble in middle Texas.

/john

[SwinneySwitch]

No way, Jose'!

[NaughtiusMaximus]

A similar warning should be put on toilet bowls. P.J. O'Rourke vividly recounts waking up from a ghastly binge with his head in one and starting to scream "I'm blind, I'm blind, I'm totally blind!!"

[e5man_r_u?]

My sister spotted a bumper sticker in Austin
"Where here because we're not all there"

She a raging lefty like the rest, but she is fun to mess with.

he he

[no more apples]

I'm just new enough to ask how long has "sillybill" been going on - since the beginning?

[Nice50BMG]

More American children under 12 die in buckets each year, than are killed by guns.

What we need here is a bucket registration and training program. We need serial numbers on buckets and a 15-day waiting period.

[ChefKeith]

These warnings are ALREADY on buckets and have been for years.

[Military family member]

Well then, we need the same thing on trash cans. If a kid can drown in 4 gallon bucket, then a child can drown in a 33 gallon trash can.

Let's not forget...

wading pools

bathtubs

Toilets

Washing machines

wash tubs

large planters sans potting soil

the hole my dog dug in the back yard last summer

the pothole in my alley

I've got a better idea; let's put stickers on all children which read "Lack of parental supervision may result in death."

[AZ_Cowboy]

"These warnings are ALREADY on buckets and have been for years."

You're kidding, right? I haven't bought a bucket in quite a while, though.

Has anyone ever read Glenn Beck's Obituary for Common Sense? This would dovetail really good here.

[unixfox]

Gosh, I'm sure the little tikes are going to read the WARNING.

Typical liberal/socialist idiots!

[ArmyBratproud]

Now there's a great idea.

[ArmyBratproud]

How about we let California have both Austin and Frisco.

If CA can take Waco as well, then that would be great.

[cabojoe]

OK you win...may as well, as long as we get Austin's jalepeno jelly factories. Gotta love that stuff.