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To: armyman

I got an email something like that once, utterly amazing.

Found this, similar to what you posted, these are actual transcripts and questions. No wonder everyone hates lawyers.

Trial Transcirpts:
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when you picture was taken?"

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: I have been since early childhood.

"Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?"

"Did he kill you?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

Q: So the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.


Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Judge: Please begin.
Counsel: Thank. [to witness] Miss, while you have, if you do have -- you still -- oh, you don't.
Judge: That was a great start, counsel.


36 posted on 01/15/2005 4:54:13 PM PST by Indy Pendance
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To: Indy Pendance

we must have the same book: "Lawyers Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes


43 posted on 01/15/2005 5:15:16 PM PST by armyman (This space available for advertising. Freepmail me for pricing, terms, and conditions.)
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