Something tells me that Maureen Dowd would be a lot more alluring to the opposite sex if she weren't able to speak English.
Call me crazy, but it just makes sense somehow.
Bag over her head and silent is better.
She could swallow her own face. Might be an improvement.
Perhaps looking inward and taking responsibility for oneself might do her some good too. She's gaining no sympathy from me dragging her life out into the open writing absolutely moronic things. I don't care if she's an old bat or Miss April. Sometimes one has to deal with their own problems on their own time, instead of pointing a finger outward and blaming the reader.