Actually, I can remember, in my youth (I'm 52) when a smoker in the presence of a non-smoker would ask, "Do you mind if I light up?" I haven't heard that in years, though.
You've never met me........I always ask the question. As does every other smoker I know.
Of course I also live in a polite society where even the most rabid anti-smoker would never dream of calling someone who smokes a nasty name.