The only way this would be a "reasonable request" would be if we not only pulled the military workers out, but also all other workers--and oh, yes, the money. I think it's fine to refuse aid from anyone, but if they do, they shouldn't whine about the conditions from the tsunami.
I do think you are dead wrong about thanks--not thanking someone for the good they do is like a slap in the face.
Folks, we've just been slapped. Do we stick around for more?
I don't disagree with you at all! It is a slap in the face. However I believe that giving the indonesian government a big flying FU will not do us very well in the PR war on Islam.
Don't forget... They didn't ask us for help! We volunteered it! If they had asked, then we'd have every right to expect some gratitude. They didn't! So chalk this one up as a selfless act.
Folks, we've just been slapped. Do we stick around for more?