Tell a lawyer joke, go to jail?

msn.com ^ | Jan. 12, 2005 | The Associated Press

[Redbob]

Link doesn't.
"Bad Request (Invalid Header Name)"

[tbird5]

Sorry about the link. Go to http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6818054/

Title: Tell a lawyer joke, go to jail?

[massgopguy]

Sounds like the Seinfeld "anti-Dentite" episode.

[Humidston]

Lawyers just hate it when we 'simpletons' mock them, don't they?

[sgtbono2002]

****Dan Bagnuola, a spokesman for the Nassau County courts, said the men were “being abusive and they were causing a disturbance.” He said he did not have the name of the lawyer who complained.****

I thought in America a man had a right to face his accuser.. How can the cops arrest people on a complaint and not produce the complainant.

[Paul C. Jesup]

Lawyers just hate it when we 'simpletons' mock them, don't they?

We're not mocking them, we're simply stating a fact.

[Izzy Dunne]

The trouble with lawyer jokes is that the lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes !

[PAR35]

"Kash said he was due in court to answer a drunken driving charge"

He's a hypocrite if he uses a lawyer, and a fool if he doesn't.

[television is just wrong]

lol, what's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish???

One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.

I was told that by a lawyer...

First lawyer joke I ever heard.

[weave09]

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

Answer- A tick falls off when you die.

[Christian4Bush]

The trouble with lawyer jokes is that the lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes !

To go along with this, I like the photo of a button that says: "I sleep like a Democrat: first I lie on one side, and then I lie on the other side."

[JustAnotherOkie]

Not necessarily, as codified by section 1.2.3.852@9932.5522

If an attorny is hacked off he can report someone. It is called Bogus.Reportus.

[Fiddlstix]

The trouble with lawyer jokes is that the lawyers don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes !

ROFLMAO!

I nominate this as "Quote of the Day".

[Cicero]

Same thing occurred to me. I don't see how they can be convicted for disorderly conduct unless the witness to their behavior appears to testify.

---

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No.
Good!

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dung?
A: The bucket.

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetery

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

[Joe Boucher]

Come on now folks,
Let's hear your worst and best lawyer jokes.
You know like:what is lower then whale poop? A lawyer.

[cake_crumb]

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale...

'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound

'Nurses brains $30.00 a pound

'Lawyer brains $90.00 a pound'

So he goes and asks the guy, 'why to doctor brains cost $8.oo a pound while lawyer brains cost $90?'

The guy says 'are you kidding? Do ytou know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?'

[elcid1970]

Q. What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

A. He grows taller.

[Free2Be49]

This house where once a lawyer dwelt
Is now a smith's, alas.
How rapidly the age of iron
Succeeds the age of brass.

From the devil's thoughts —
He saw a lawyer smite a viper
On a dunghill in a stable.
The devil laughed for it put him in mind
Of Cain and his brother, Abel.

A lawyer is a man who induces two men to strip down for a fight and then runs off with their clothes.

[Edward Watson]

This reminds me of a drunken declaration given to me by a very famous lawyer in the Philippines when he saw me having dinner in a restaurant (we knew each other for several months prior to this incident).

He put his arm around me and said, "Remember Elder Watson, a lawyer is a liar!"

He then roared with laughter and I, naturally laughed heartily with him. I guessed he just won another case...