Yeni, dear, you absolutely, desperately need to walk into a Church ... and head straight for the confessional. Deciding to make a good Confession will be one of the hardest things you do ... actually making it will probably be surprisingly easy, and the best thing you will ever have done.
Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
Psalm 103:2
As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.