I agree the terminology is hard to deal with.
One has to read her to understand where she was coming from.
One cannot say I love you without the I.
The great enemy she was going against was Kant, who taught that an act is only a virtue when one's highest values are given up.
So a husband must save an unknown woman and allow his own wife to drown.
If he saves his wife (even at the risk of his own life) it is not considered a virtue, but scorned as being 'selfish'.
You can see the roots of Nazi Germany and Communism in that philosophy.
Yes, Kant's ethics are a disaster!
I don't think Kant would have agreed on this specific example (he probably would have written some unreadable quibble defining a loophole).
But otherwise you are right - the philosopher cannot control his idea, and the general trend of this analysis, and of the idea of a godless ethics in general, was not a good thing.