What exactly is "selfish" about not having kids?
I want specifics.
If my husband and I spend a lot of time discussing the matter and decide that we are not cut out to be parents, how is that "selfish"?
If I decide that my desire to have kids is not strong enough to take the chance of having physical problems in pregnancy or delivery, or of having post-partum depression, how on earth is that "selfish"?
If we pray for God's guidance, and he makes it clear to us that we are not called to be parents, how is that "selfish"?
If we have more money to give away to needy people, how is that "selfish"?
If we have personalities that predispose us to being most mentally healthy and happy with a quiet household, and to being happy and satisfied with just the two of us, how is that "selfish"?
Someone please give a rational, intellectual explanation for this "selfish" thing.
Fifty years ago, this discussion would not have even taken place. The last fifty years (round number) have turned America upside down.
Fifty years ago, it was just as normal as bacon and eggs for breakfast, that a man and woman married and had children. As it always had been. Why? Were my parents too dull to consider whether or not they were "cut out" to be parents? I think not; though they both came from families of modest means, both had graduated college and both had career prospects - Mama as a teacher and Daddy in finance.
My Daddy was not really "cut out" to be a father. His own died when he was two years old, and in later years, he told me that he had messed up a lot, because his male influences were not so good. So, he realized that he did not have a good ideal for fatherhood. Yes, he messed up a lot. But, he did well enough to bring four children into the world who are also having children and making the world a better place.
Forgive the ramble. But, this is interesting to me, in light of what, fifty years ago was considered, at best sad, and at worst, slightly scandalous; i.e., that a man and woman would marry, and never be blessed with children. I think it speaks to a downward trend in the matters that made us a strong nation.
fwiw