[Windcatcher]

"I see couples where HE will buy something extravagant that they cannot afford, but SHE will agree because he permits her a countervailing extravagance."

That's exactly what happened with my friend and the cars. She got the new Honda Accord, but the agreement was that he would get a new car, too (Dodge Intrepid SE with loads of options). They sacrificed any possiblity of building up a safety net in the process. He's always griping about how he wished he had my savings, but I haven't had the heart to tell him that it takes being financially responsible. His wife is an angel, but they're already arguing about how money is tight and he wants her to start working again but she wants to stay home to take care of the kids. I don't see them breaking up, but that's because they both have strong character and no crises at the moment.

[Criminal Number 18F]

There's a great book, that you don't need, but sounds like your friends might, and maybe another freeper or two will like it.

The Millionaire Next Door

• Barnes and Noble

• Amazon

I'll give y'all the key secret: don't borrow except for a reasonable home; live well within your means, and save. That is how you accumulate wealth instead of look well-off by leading a hand-to-mouth existence at a high level.

In other words, being frugal moves your piece a lot further down the board than high earning. My mother and father, brother and sister-in-law, and I, independently, could have been the subjects of the dang book.

The reason this is germane to the thread, IMHO, although we appear to be pretty far afield, is this: the original article seems to conflate high-IQ with high-pressure-employment. IMHO there are other things besides IQ that make the researchers' career-oriented women unhappy in love. One of them is that for a couple to match, money attitudes need to match. A young couple (early twenties) is more likely to resonate financially than a couple that has been developing independently for 15 or 20 years, or a couple with a big imbalance in age or other societal criteria... if what I am saying makes any sense. I am always being fixed up with gals that are 35+ and haven't got the proverbial pot to you-know-what, just a 15 year history of making $120k a year as a marketing VP, spending it all on stuff that becomes part of next year's Goodwill [charity] pickup. Gimme an honest teacher or nurse or assistant librarian who lives within her means, and buys the clothes from the Goodwill store for 10¢ on the dollar!

The money or earning ability you bring to a marriage need not match, but your attitude towards money needs to be close enough to be compatible. This is one of the many independent variables that the study makes no effort to measure or (obviously) control for.

d.o.l.

Criminal Number 18F

PS - oh yeah, another thing. College degrees, as many have pointed out, are not particularly useful as markers for intelligence. A lot of those MBA-equipped marketing VPs got through school on drudgery, not ability. And don't even get me started on Ed.D. That's roughly equivalent to being graduated from middle school. Now, show me a degree in the hard sciences or maths and I'm impressed. Most liberal arts degrees are a union card that indicates you endured four years of hazing at College X - period.