Posted on 01/02/2005 7:01:31 AM PST by Land_of_Lincoln_John
USFAN, Saudi Arabia – In 50 years, he says, he has married 58 women and has forgotten the names of most of them. He knows he has had 10 sons, but ask about daughters and he counts on his fingers: 22. No, no, 28. No, that's too many. He settles on 25.
Saleh al-Sayeri, a 64-year-old shepherd-turned-businessman, says his marital adventures have cost him more than $1.6 million in wedding expenses and settlements for divorced wives. But the man who remembers being forced into his first marriage at age 14 says he would do it a million times over.
"Marriage doesn't bore me," he said, relaxing in his 22-horse stable in Usfan, in the desert 500 miles west of the Saudi capital, Riyadh. "I'm the happiest man in the world."
Al-Sayeri's story might seem a bizarre curiosity, but it touches a nerve in Saudi Arabia. The status of Saudi women is a matter of international controversy. When al-Sayeri's story surfaced in Saudi media in March, some readers reacted angrily.
"What kind of a family structure is this? What is divorce doing to the psychologies of the ex-wives and children? How can this man devote any quality time to his children – teaching them about Islam and being a constant role model?" a woman who identified herself as Maryam wrote to the Arab News, an English-language daily.
Sayyidaty magazine, which interviewed al-Sayeri, also spoke to psychiatrist Mona al-Sawwaf, who said al-Sayeri does not treat a wife as a human being "but as a piece of clothing he can change whenever he pleases or an object."
Al-Sayeri dismisses such critics as "crazy," insisting he is not breaching Islamic laws, which permit a man to have four wives at a time.
None of al-Sayeri's ex-wives could be reached. He said many have remarried, but to reveal their identity would be a gross violation of Saudi custom.
Divorce has become quite common in the kingdom, with press reports saying half of all marriages break up. But the fate of a divorced woman depends on her parents' frame of mind. If they oppose the divorce, they are likely to confine her to the house and monitor her movements.
The notion of a single career woman barely exists in Saudi Arabia. Women may not drive. They may not get an education, travel or check into a hotel without a male guardian's permission.
Some parents, on the other hand, are modern-minded enough to let their daughters finish their schooling or go out to work. And although Islamic laws permit a man to have four wives at a time, most Muslim men today take one wife, because it has become the cultural norm and polygamy is costly.
Money is not an issue for al-Sayeri, who says he has made a fortune trading in cars and property. Al-Sayeri, who heads the Sayer, a southern Bedouin tribe, said he keeps each wife in a separate villa and sometimes even in a different town to keep the peace, and assures each that she's his favorite.
Al-Sayeri said he has married first cousins and women from about 30 tribes all over the kingdom.
His latest marriage – and at 10,000 guests his most sumptuous – was to a 14-year-old girl nine months ago. She was the perfect age, he said. When he heard about her, he sent his niece to check her out. She came back with a favorable report.
Then he visited her family. When the girl came into the living room to offer him refreshments – an excuse for him to see her face – he asked her if she would marry him.
"She was shy at first and didn't answer but then she said yes," al-Sayeri recalled. "Now, we're such good friends it feels we've known each other 40 years."
"relaxing in his 22-horse stable"
Cool!
I don't think the author understands math.
It is impossible for "most men" in any group to practice polygamy unless there are a great many more women than men in that group. Actually, this situation may have been the the case in the early days of Islam due to so many males being killed in warfare.
In almost any other country he would be considered a pervert. In Saudi he is just another rich old man selecting concubines.
Now, we're such good friends it feels we've known each other 40 years.
Especially to her, when he touches her. Pervert.
said he keeps each wife in a separate villa and sometimes even in a different town to keep the peace, and assures each that she's his favorite.
One thing is for sure, Saudi culture has not changed the attitude of a woman. But I am sure that a few of the other wives will enjoy reading this touching account of love from his perspective.
That's why they don't teach the women to read...
ick ick ick!
In all fairness, we must admit that two celebrities of the Right have tipped their "degenerate lifestyle" hands lately. Of course, I refer to Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh.
"Hollywood" is really no more degenerate or perverse than anyplace else. Every one of us has secrets, vices, and fetishes. To pretend otherwise while putting down those whose appetites happen to end up in the media is just setting us up for a fall - as Bill and Rush would no doubt agree.
That's just wrong.
"How can this man devote any quality time to his children – teaching them about Islam"
He is teaching them about Islam...it's just easier now that he can show them tapes of how to behead infidels without having to dirty his hands.
I've heard it said that four wives is the ideal number to have.
As we know, one is rarely enough. With two, there is inevitable jealousy between them. With three wives, two will bond, making the third an outcast. But with four, everybody has a friend.
Personally, I think one wife is more than enough.
The Mormon's Brigham Young is being crowded out as the generator of progeny.
One of the fellows in our genealogy (a cousin) married his 6th wife when he was 94.
His bride was 18.
He had two children with her, and he lived to 107.
This was in conservative New England.
He had 22 children by all the wives.
Except for the last wife, the others pre-deceased him.
Many "men" of marriage age are too immature to become married.
This leaves a glut of women who need men.
Many women wish to have a career.
By having several wives in a family, those who wish to work outside the home to help support it can, those who wish to remain home to care for the kids can. They could even rotate every few years.
wreaks of trollism.
That should be "reeks", not "wreaks".
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