What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?

Chicago Sun-Times ^ | December 24, 2004 | CATHLEEN FALSANI RELIGION WRITER

[Chi-townChief]

Let's say you're a big peacenik. Card-carrying. World class. You marched in anti-war protests and sat in sit-ins when you were a college student during the Vietnam War. Maybe you even got tear-gassed while holding hands with Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary during a particularly nasty protest in front of the Conrad Hilton back in '68.

You've been arrested dozens of times for civil disobedience, continue to march, or sit, or picket, or shout on behalf of peace, and are one of the loudest voices in Chicago against President Bush and what you consider to be his immoral war in Iraq.

Now, let's say you have a son.

And he decides to join the Army.

What do you do?

That's what the Rev. Michael Pfleger, the activist pastor of Chicago's St. Sabina Roman Catholic Church and die-hard peacenik in question, asked himself when his eldest son, 30-year-old Lamar Michael Pfleger, called home in late August to say he'd enlisted.

"When he first told me that this was something he had made a decision to do, I was shocked, I have to admit that," Mike Pfleger told me this month as the three of us -- Mike in his black-on-black priestly garb and worried expression, Lamar in his new Army fatigues with the word PFLEGER printed in black, capital letters over his right chest -- chatted at the St. Sabina's parsonage, where Lamar grew up after Pfleger adopted him 21 years ago.

"He basically told me after he'd enlisted," the elder Pfleger said. "He knew where I stood, but he'd made up his mind."

Son's decision

In truth, Mike Pfleger was heartsick.

As an activist priest who insists we're fighting an unjust, preemptive war based on lies, yes. But more so, as, simply, a dad.

"I told him, I cannot feel good about it because he's my son, and I love him and I care about him," the normally bombastic priest said quietly. "My prayer for him and for Beronti, my other son, every day is for their safety and that they can achieve their goals. And that's my prayer for him, that he will achieve whatever dreams and goals God has for him. And I support him 100 percent in his decision. It's not my decision. And it shouldn't be. It should be his."

Lamar Pfleger is strapping, soft-spoken and African American, the opposite in many ways of his father, the blond, blue-eyed firebrand. But they share a stubborn streak, as well as a sense of spiritual mission.

A few years ago, Lamar was working for an airline in a job he loved. But then 9/11 happened and everything changed. The airlines suffered and jobs were cut. He survived the first round of layoffs, but not the second. A few years later, he found himself working as the assistant manager of a video store, depressed and unfulfilled. In prayer he felt God leading him to join the military, he told me.

"I knew I could be doing a lot more besides what I was doing. That's pretty much why I decided to go in," he said. "I'd rather go over there and stop them before they come over here and start doing it. And that's my point. . . . If I can prevent that from happening, I'll sleep better at night, too."

Childhood restrictions

This from a kid who wasn't allowed to play with toy guns as a child. "Not even squirt guns," his father said, proudly. "I got a cowboy gun once for my birthday, and he told me I had to take it back," Lamar recalled. "From then on, I should have known what kind of protest I was in for."

A few days earlier, I had called the elder Pfleger to wish him a Merry Christmas. "And how are your boys?" I asked. (In addition to Lamar, Pfleger has a younger son, 25-year-old Beronti, whom he adopted 13 years ago.)

All I heard on the other end of the line was a heavy sigh. I prodded and Mike told me how he'd just returned from Lamar's graduation from basic training in Georgia and how he'd cried through the whole thing. Happily, Mike said, Lamar -- "thank you, Jesus" -- had been assigned to a base in Seattle for at least a year.

When the three of us got together, I asked Lamar about his assignment in a combat striker unit of the 2nd Infantry at Fort Lewis in Seattle.

I kind of wish I hadn't.

The son took a deep breath, eyes darting to the ceiling, nostrils flaring nervously, and looked at his father.

"I've been assigned to Fort Lewis where I'll be taking classes and just staying in physical shape and probably be on standby until I'm possibly deployed. There's a good chance . . ." Lamar said, pausing uncomfortably, and turning toward his father. "I didn't want to tell my dad that, but there's a good chance I might be [deployed to Iraq]."

The father blanched visibly, but remained silent and tried to smile.

This must be killing him, I thought.

"Coming home, you know, missing a limb, that scares me more than anything," Lamar continued. "I would like to go by the phrase, 'Take all of me or take none of me.' . . . I'll be praying for myself, 'God, please forgive me for whatever I have to do.' But in the long run, it's something I have to do," he said.

'Death . . . anywhere'

Mike Pfleger is praying that his son won't be sent to Iraq.

"If he does, I'll continue to pray for his safety, no matter where he is," the priest said. "You don't have to be in Iraq to get maimed or killed. It can happen on a street. My youngest son, Jarvis, died here, three blocks away from here. So I know that harm or danger or death can come anywhere."

(Pfleger's foster son Jarvis was killed in gang crossfire seven years ago at the age of 17.)

"I just don't want my dad to worry," Lamar said.

"Not much hope of that, but he's gonna be all right because prayer is powerful," Mike Pfleger said, reaching out and touching his son's shoulder. "You're gonna be all right."

U.S. Army Pvt. Lamar Pfleger reports for duty Jan. 16.

And our prayers go with him.

[GOP_1900AD]

That's an interesting essay you wrote, well, yesterday, your time. I know exactly what you are talking about - while not an expat I have family living overseas (actually only a few hundred miles from you) and via that relationship have met various expats. It seems to me that your type of expat is rare for the following reason. It has been my observation that most Americans who go the expat route tend to be either Transnational Globalist Progressives and therefore hate Borders, Language and Culture, as well as traditional American values, or, even worse, they are more of the pirate or criminal type and live overseas to escape their past and to engage in corruption. The worst manifestation of this is a type who are a particular problem in SEA, namely, what I would term to permanent sex tourist. An overall hatred of their own country seems to fit hand in hand with both groups. Sadly, it would seem that the rare exceptions to either are mostly missionaries. Not that being a missionary is not a good thing, but it's sad to me that those many who purport to represent the diplomatic and business communities are so poorly representing the USA abroad. Off rant ...

[krb]

It's this one:

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

-- John Stuart Mill

[TigersEye]

What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?

Fill your bathtub with Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia, kick off your Berkies and wallow in the shallowness of a mind that's never been challenged by rational thought.

May your son serve honorably and return home whole and victorious. When he thinks of you may he take comfort in the words of Samuel Adams...

"If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you; and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."

[risk]

Related to John Stuart Mill's famous quote:

The fear of war is worse than war itself. --Seneca

A bad peace is even worse than war. --Tacitus

If we truly understood this, would our domestic enemies be so bold?

[x]

Protestant ministers who convert to Catholicism have been allowed to remain married, and of course a widower could become a priest, but Fr. Pfleger was born Catholic so I assume the children were adopted.

[FrankR]

"What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?"

Simple...GROW UP.

[Citizen Tom Paine]

Send him a letter each week with the family news in it. Go see him when he graduates from boot camp. Send him cookies periodically and a local newspaper now and again.

[expatguy]

Thank you for the kind comments.

I really don't meet many other Americans over here, I know only a few really and they tend to be the type you described. They hate everything about America and are always badmouthing their country. Needless to say, I dont get along well with them.

I really got fed up a few months back when we had some jerk working for the State department at the US embassy here who was practically foaming at the mouth with how much he hated Bush and how the Iraq War was for oil/imperialism. The sad thing is that because of his position as a diplomat, people actually listened to him. You can't imagine the damage that does to our country when we have diplomats out of control like that. But hey. Freedom of Speech and all.

I hope you will bookmark me and spread the word. Thanks.

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

[Tribune7]

The kids are adopted, and it does sound like he was a pretty good parent.

[Non-Sequitur]

There is nothing preventing a priest from adopting. Pfleger has two adoptive sons. Another Chicago priest, George Clement, also adopted one or two boys. Both did so with the full support of the Archdiocese of Chicago, after a little initial reluctance, and the approval of John Paul II.

[Tribune7]

Moral of the story for ultra lib parents: When the kids ask for water pistols, buy them two + a water canon ;-D

LOL. Words of wisdom.

[SolutionsOnly]

You you thank God that every parent's wish has come true for you and that is that your child has turned out better than yourself.

[SolutionsOnly]

A Roman-Catholic PASTOR??? With a SON??? So many contradictions with so few words...

[Non-Sequitur]

I would ask all of you disparaging Father Phleger to try and answer the question of what you would do if faced with a similar situation? What if your son came home one day and announced that he was doing something that was completely opposed to everything you stood for and believed in? Would you be as supportive of his decision as Father Pfleger has been? Or would you boot him out on his ass and tell him never to darken your door again? Be honest now.

[DBeers]

Saint Sabina.org - Pastor's Bio

Rev. Dr. Michael L. Pfleger is quite a left wing radical activist -an apparent cult of personality...

De Virtutibus

He has been at St. Sabina for 22 years, much longer than any priest in Chicago is allowed to serve a parish. When his term came up a year ago, he fought it tooth and nail, and threatened to leave the Church and found his own. Most of his parishioners said that they would follow him. This shows that they at St. Sabina are not Catholic, but Pflegerites.

Pfleger Ignores Cardinal; Shares Pulpit with Sharpton

Outside the church, a group of 15 pro-life picketers stood in 20-degree weather protesting Sharpton’s public presence at the church because Sharpton is pro-abortion.

Francis Cardinal George's public statement on Friday indicated that Pfleger should not let Sharpton speak during a Catholic Mass, because doing so would violate several Catholic codes.

[albee]

""When he first told me that this was something he had made a decision to do, I was shocked, I have to admit that," Mike Pfleger told me this month as the three of us -- Mike in his black-on-black priestly garb and worried expression, Lamar in his new Army fatigues with the word PFLEGER printed in black, capital letters over his right chest -- chatted at the St. Sabina's parsonage, where Lamar grew up after Pfleger adopted him 21 years ago.

His birth parents must have passed on those good genes that the son inherited.....at least in the testicle department.

[DBeers]

The Rev. Michael Pfleger

Rev. Pfleger has a strong reputation for pursuing social justice. Serving in Auburn-Gresham, a 98% black neighborhood, Rev. Pfleger, who is white, offers services that can approach the three-hour mark, with lots of music and call-outs.

"I grew up in the white Catholic community. It was cerebral. You came in and didn't express anything," says Rev. Pfleger, 55. "If the white church embraces the gift and power of the black church tradition, it could be a lot more effective."

Outside the Catholic Church, Rev. Pfleger is known for climbing ladders to deface liquor billboards. Going from a near whisper to guttural rage, he preaches about eliminated bus routes and lack of jobs. Sermons, he says, "shouldn't call on people to live better private lives. They should inspire them to build a better world."

Unlike ANY Catholic Mass I am aware of....

[DBeers]

His birth parents must have passed on those good genes that the son inherited.....at least in the testicle department.

No doubt!

[happygrl]

Amen to all you've atated. <>And Merry Christmas.

[BlessedBeGod]

If so, then it was changed. At the time he and Clement adopted it was against the rules and quite a big deal was made over it -- including wondering if they were going to force them to give the children up. And I would never expect Bernardin to follow the rules, so his support doesn't impress me.