Ironically, I received this e-mail from my very liberal, California niece yesterday:
Notice
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new and virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called gonorrhea lecthym (pronounced "gonna-re-elect-him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed by the Bush-Cheney-Rove-Ashcroft administration for the past four years and failing to have taken adequate measures to protect themselves. Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with gonorrhea lecthym include antisocial personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a messianic flavor; cognitive perseveration; inability to incorporate new information into a rigid idée fixe; xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing thinking.
This epidemic is out of control. It has been credibly reported that it has already resulted in brain death in over 59,000,000 Americans. Excessive exposure to country music and yellow ribbon asphyxiation are thought to be contributing factors. Unfortunately, new CDC Director Archbishop Burke has ordered a halt to research into the disease after determining the disease is incurable and is merely God's will. Apparently, however, at least 55,000,000 of us have natural immunity and are poised to lead a brief but exciting life right after the rapture begins and our afflicted fellow Americans ascend to their eternal reward.
MY Response to her:
Yes, it is a frightening reality that most sexually transmitted diseases bring to our society. I have heard about this strain. Sadly, it has been traced to the original carrier. Through painstaking research and investigation, it has been discovered that it was first transmitted on the desk in the oval office about six years ago. Cigar residue was found to be interactive with the bacteria and thus was found to be the ingredient which activated the disease's deadly impact on our population. Both carriers have been isolated and rendered inactive. There is some concern about the wife of one of the carriers, as she has, (we shall use the slang word,) "f@#%@$", numerous people througout her troubled life, but she too will be neutralized, probably within the next two years or so.
Your response to your niece is excellent. I have a very good friend whose sister sends her similar emails. If this email is circulating and my friend receives it, would you mind if I sent her your response?