Bernie's new job???
Posted on 12/13/2004 7:53:07 PM PST by LaDivaLoca
1. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
2. If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret, girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
3. If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
4. It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
5. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
6. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
7. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
8. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
9. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
10. Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
11. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
12. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
I've learned to stagger mine througout the year. Sometimes I would like to take the 2 weeks in a row. But then I hate coming back!
Tomkow and Old Sarge are out drinking. One night, Sarge turns to Tomkow and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.
I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house.
I sneak up the stairs. I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed, and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
Tomkow looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's behind and say, 'How about some good lovin?' .... and she's always sound asleep."
Now there's a man who needs some PT (155). And a muzzle. And a full frontal labotomy. And a one way trip to Siberia.
Okay, tomkow, I'm awake now.
I tried to do that for the last several years. I take the weeks of Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, but this year I have almost 7 days of leave to use or lose.
Bernie's new job???
Good morning, Lauren!
Good morning Beachy!
![](http://images7.fotki.com/v130/photos/3/345978/1574307/penguincane-vi.gif?1102287163")
Good morning Tom!
Good morning Arrowhead!
I feels like the North Pole here today. So much for global warming.....
The first thing that came to mind can't be posted in polite company. Bernie, Bernie, Bernie. Bad boy.
Since when am I "polite company"?
Since it's the holiday season, I'm trying to behave. I FReep mailed you with my real comment.
No kidding!! Brrrr!
Good morning Sarge!
Hey, Uncle.
The new laptop is READY! Bro tells me it's even more powerful than when he first started building it!
I'm gonna enjoy this...
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.