I can't help but smiling at you - you look like me inside. If I could just reach through this screen, and touch your hand, I could show you what I see...
But this is the difference - sometimes God speaks to us, and we do not recognize His voice. Sometimes, in the infinity of all this space, when we see him, he looks so much like - one of us, a stranger on the street, and the gifts are given without any asking of us - we have a hard time believing that God is God. Didn't look like God - didn't sound like God -
And yet, the hand is the Hand of God, the voice is the Voice of God, the gifts are the Gifts of God the same. Even when we do not believe in God, it does not change His existence.
I believe what you are saying. You have a pain that I can never know, and I know your experiences have made it the only reality you yet have. You are telling me the truth about your life.
Do you believe me?
Well, I have a pain. Epilepsy, last year was a nightmare and this year came close to repeating it. I'm doing ok right now. I'm still a skeptic, because before I really hit rock bottom and started to have seizures, I turned to god.
After that, things continued on their slide and the seizures started which can only be described as the worst, most pure form of pain imaginable. I'd expect that being set on fire hurts less than some of the seizures I had.
I don't blame any god for this, but I do doubt that any listened in any sense whatsoever. When you try and be a good person and believe and get smacked down, you are left bitter.