Replies

Supposedly, these are comments taken from squawk sheets for military aircraft... they're funny, but I take them with a grain of salt.

Squawk: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Reply: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Squawk: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Reply: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Squawk #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Reply #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Squawk #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Squawk: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Squawk: "Something loose in cockpit."
Reply: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Squawk: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Reply: "Evidence removed."

Squawk: "Number three engine missing."
Reply: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Squawk: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Reply: "Volume set to more believable level."

Squawk: Dead bugs on windshield.
Reply: Live bugs on order.

Squawk: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Reply: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Squawk: IFF inoperative.
Reply: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Squawk: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Reply: That's what they're there for.