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Accounts of exchanges: airline pilots and control towers around the world! (TOO FUNNY!)
Private Email | DECEMBER 10, 2004 | Unknown

Posted on 12/10/2004 2:44:08 PM PST by CHARLITE

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To: Chemist_Geek

Agreed!

I was interviewed on the news after that kid flew his Cessna into an office building in Tampa.

They asked me about the dangers of GA in light of what happened in Tampa...

I believe my comment was... "YES, and he BROKE A FRIGGIN' WINDOW!"


181 posted on 12/12/2004 9:21:43 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Because I fly, I envy no (wo)man on earth. - Anon)
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To: CHARLITE
Most are old chestnuts, but I always enjoy reading them. For another chuckle, consider the story about a 747 pilot who was just advised by Bay Approach to reduce airspeed by 20 knots

"I can't slow down that much," the pilot said, adding..."do you know the stall speed of a 747?"

To which the controller shot back..."Just ask your first officer, he should be able to tell you."

182 posted on 12/12/2004 9:41:10 PM PST by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: KillTime

==Was that a normal landing or did we crash?"==

My Mother once asked the pilot what aircraft carrier he was on....


183 posted on 12/12/2004 10:04:47 PM PST by gortklattu (check out thotline dot com)
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To: SC Swamp Fox

The jammer pods weren't controlled by a WOW switch. In fact, even the radar didn't have one. Whenever we turned up the radar, we had to mark off an area in front of the aircraft that was the most extreme danger.

The pods weren't supposed to be turned up on the deck, but you know how that goes. Lots of stuff happens that isn't supposed to on the deck.


184 posted on 12/13/2004 3:28:02 AM PST by DustyMoment (Repeal CFR NOW!!)
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To: dixiechick2000; secret garden

The fighter aircraft was single engine (like an F-16, for example). The bomber was a B-52.....has EIGHT engines. With one engine out, it would be making a seven-engine approach, in effect.........hence the fighter pilot's snide comment :).


185 posted on 12/13/2004 3:36:52 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: CHARLITE

I flew airplanes (KC-135's, to be exact) in the Strategic Air Command back in the day.

We didn't tend to go overseas much, so I thoroughly enjoyed my TDY to the UK and Spain. What I'll never forget was the personalities of the air traffic controllers over there, and how they reflected the national character.

Brits: efficient, polite, professional, good natured; one even took us down to JUST above the water and had us fly up the coast, starting at the White Cliffs of Dover, and gave us......literally.........a guided tour the whole way

French: curt, dismissive, not very helpful or informative ("You kin turn to ze left or ze right.......I do NOT care!")

Germans: fiercely efficient, by the book, authoritarian ("You vill turn LEFT, und you vill turn NOW!!!!")

Italians: Hilarious....very nice, but damned funny. The further east you fly over the Mediterranean, the worse the controllers' English gets. We were second in a two-ship formation, heading into Sicily. The tanker ahead of us requested a particular ILS approach (a type of instrument approach), and the controller comes back with "The ILS-a.......she's-a not a-working!!!!" Thought I'd DIE laughing; sounded like someone imitating an Italian, I swear. :)


186 posted on 12/13/2004 3:48:27 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: RightOnline

Were you ever an instructor?
I've heard some very funny stories about that.

My husband had one tour of duty as an instructor in Pensacola.
During that time, he was training Kuwaiti pilots.
He said that is the only time he wore his oxygen mask while on the tarmac. ;o)

Then, there was the student going through the preflight.
He forgot to close the canopy.
Hubby asked if he forgot anything.
The student said, "No, sir."
Hubby told him to stick his left arm out of the cockpit, and asked what that meant.
The student said, "Left turn, sir".

lol


187 posted on 12/13/2004 4:32:08 PM PST by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: dixiechick2000

Left turn...............TOO funny!!!!! That made me spit my coffee all over the monitor!!!!!!!!

No, was never an instructor. I only flew for seven years, then got out. Have heard MANY such stories, though. :)


188 posted on 12/14/2004 4:33:53 AM PST by RightOnline
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To: RightOnline

Having been a pilot with the SAC, you have
had very unique experiences. When you consider
that, at any given time, there are only a
very small number of people flying planes in
defense of this great country, you realize just
how unique they are.

Be proud...;o)


189 posted on 12/14/2004 8:28:25 AM PST by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: dixiechick2000

Thank you........and thank your husband for all of us, as well.


190 posted on 12/14/2004 5:06:03 PM PST by RightOnline
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To: MarkL

My favorite engineering bit on the F4 was the little windmill generator that would pop up out of the trapdoor in case you lost your main electrical bus. It would give you enough power to your instruments to get you home.


191 posted on 12/24/2004 8:38:55 PM PST by chaosagent (It's all right to be crazy. Just don't let it drive you nuts.)
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To: RVN Airplane Driver

I flew C-97s through the Berlin Corridors in the early 70s
armed with a 48 inch camera taking snapshots of those airfields and other interestings sights on the ground.You can get some great pictures with a camera longer than your arm. We also had EWOs on board recording all the Russian radar signals. We would ask for our “own navigation” and wander to within 4 miles of the corridor edge to get in position to shoot the targets we wanted. Top Secret stuff-the Russians didn’t know a thing. Right. We had a photo of an airfield that had “Merry Xmas” and our squadron number plowed out of the snow on the ramp. Saw Migs all the time. Somehow managed to not get shot down. All at 190 knots.


192 posted on 08/27/2011 3:28:20 PM PDT by scudpilot
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To: scudpilot

Actually we were hauling Mil Intel folks back and forth from Berlin. I remember the first time we were making an approach into Templehof and broke out at about 5000 msl and looked down and saw a big stadium....and then it occurred to me was the Olympic stadium of the 1936 Olympics...where Jesse Owens embarrased Hitler and his Nazi buddies with a American Negro running away with a bunch of Gold Medals.. We usually got a one night RON in Berlin....and usually took a Helicopter ride up and down the wall. I guess that was actually the first time I really understood what the cold war was all about. East sector...dull...no lights and the West sector lit up like a Christmas tree.. Seeing war first hand in Vietnam was one of life’s lessons...seeing people separated by the wall with the folks on the East having family reunions by waving to their relatives in the West was another powerful lesson. I was stationed at Sembach AB during those days....great assignment flying for NATO Intelligence....the kids in finance called me Capt TDY...one of the kids told me...you collect more TDY every month than out whole section makes. He probably wasn’t far off the truth....repetitive TDY orders in those days had huge rewards....


193 posted on 08/28/2011 4:03:10 PM PDT by RVN Airplane Driver
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