This is the position that David Brudnoy may find himself. He may find himself before the Throne of God Almighty and see the totality of his life flashed up before him and say to himself, 'Why did I not believe since all of creation shows his handiwork? I knew about Christ, why did I chose to be agnostic? Why did I reject the free offer?'. He may be there absolutely speechless.
Please pray for him, that God may draw him to see the desperate nature of his condition, both physical and spiritual and cry out for forgiveness and salvation from Christ before it is too late.
I recently heard someone speaking of a heart that has become reprobate. I wonder if my struggle isn't something related to that, even though I don't totally understand the word. (I take it to mean my sin of non belief is so great that erasing it is almost impossible.) If that is the meaning, the Broudnoy may have suffered the same.