MErry Christmas to you too, nbut I think Allan Sherman had the best version:
"An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television But not when you get it home
C: A chromium combination manicure, scissors and cigarette lighter
S: A pair of teakwood showercloths
C: An indoor plastic birdbath
S: A pink satin pillow that said "San Diego" with fringe all around it
C: A hammered aluminum nutcracker
S: A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be
C: A simulated alligator wallet
S: A calendar book with the name of my insurance man
C: Green polka dot pajamas
B: AND A JAPANESE TRANSISTOR RADIO
S: MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!"
Hah. Good.