So let's get things started. Here is my contribution - a transcribed interview with Mary Jo Kopechne.
INTERVIEWER: "Ms. Kopechne, what actually happened to you that fateful night?"
KOPECHNE:
INTERVIEWER: "Ms. Kopechne, what are you plans for the future? Do you intend to start a family?"
KOPECHNE:
INTERVIEWER: "Ms. Kopechne, do you bear any ill will toward Sen. Kennedy for what happened to you?"
KOPECHNE:
If Mary Jo Kopechne had lived she would be grateful to the swimmer for having brought comfort to her old age.
Absolutely brutally perfect. I salute you.