How much appreciating did you do? How many kind words did you give? Unasked? Unexpected? Out-of-the-blue? Many? Never? I don't know.
I do know that you wrote three short paragraphs above, and used the word "I", "me", "my", or "mine" 11 times.
I've been married to the same wonderful lady for 16 years, and have been with her for 21. Marriage is about self-sacrifice. It's about getting up everyday and sleepily asking yourself, "What can I do to make my mate's day better, easier, and happier?" It's about loving until it hurts, then until it really hurts, and sometimes beyond.
In short, for a Christian spouse ... marriage is fun, happy, fulfilling, warm, and wonderful ... but it's also going to Calvary and being tacked up on the Cross to die.
I try everyday to please my wife in a thousand little ways, but I'm ultimately not here to please her, nor she to please me. I'm here to make a better person and help her get to heaven ... and she's here to do the same for me. She'll never do that by feeding my selfishness, but by teaching me to die to myself and to live for the sake of loving others.
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Like I said darlin',
TMI is not what I gave then, nor now going to give now. You have a good marriage and a happy life, great! You have something special, rare and to be treasured.
It doesn't work that way for everyone. Things happen behind closed doors that no one else sees. A giving heart can be destroyed and just the right amount of pain can turn love into horror. And one day, it is like you wake up to what incredible sadness life has become.
As for God and religion, lets just say I went into the marriage seeing it one way and coming out of the other side seeing it another. If I find my way back to god, it won't be through marriage or church. It will be (yes, here comes the Me, I, Mys) On my own and by myself.