Posted on 12/06/2004 9:12:18 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece
bump
LOL!!!!!
OK, good one....
Go-go!
Demon fish! Girl, you were cruisin' for trouble.
I have way too many tanks too, but it is an addiction, what can I say......Right now, I am force feeding a Pacu and fretting over the oscar. And they are my least favorites.
To me, that is the most deadly thing that can happen. Any game playing, any manipulation, anything that is the least bit not honest and the relationship is doomed. Ok, maybe just for me, but believing in fairy tales is what got me into this mess ;)
Everyone has that perspective in the abstract. They try and find the best mate they can obtain given a laundry list of criteria and priorities under the circumstances they find themselves in. Most people do not think about it explicitly like this, but subconsciously it is how we choose mates, and we are wired to have little difficulty "falling in love" when we do find a reasonable match.
Not that long ago, marriage explicitly had relatively little to do with the modern notion of romantic love and more to do with finding a good match as determined by society to a great extent and to a lesser extent personal preference, the notion being that love would come later if the match was reasonable without too much effort. Nothing has changed, but modern culture has increasingly developed this nouveau modern fairytale conception of what marriage is that almost completely ignores the underlying themes of the ages that were a part of marriage for a reason. The problem is not with love per se, but with the shallow understanding of its relationship to marriage.
When you look for a mate in a market where you will have more value, it generally follows that the mate you find will value you more. It is more complicated than just "falling in love" -- more the symptom than the "disease" -- people need to feel and be valued in a relationship for it to work. This inevitably leads to what are effectively "markets" in the search for marriage. I don't think many people view it literally in this way (including myself), but it is the dynamic of the system.
Ok, a question on the male "just be friends" bit. Isn't it possible that a girl could like and respect someone, and not see him as a marriage partner? I have a number of male acquantainces that I like and respect and enjoy spending time with, but wouldn't marry because they don't share my values. If one of them asked me on a date, how am I supposed to say "I value your company but there's no chance of 'us'" without kicking him in the junk?
I can't possibly see making a guy jump through hoops. Unless I explicitly state the hoops. "Want to marry me? Well... you're going to have to get Daddy's permission first... *bat my eyelashes innocently*". But that's a different matter, I think...
ping
Yeah, that was more or less what I was getting at, but you stated it better. (As usual!)
I don't always wear my faith on my sleeve - I don't hide it or anything, but people that I don't know through church or through something like this don't necessarily know my beliefs and values. And if someone who I know doesn't share any of the same beliefs and values asks me if I'd like to go out...and I know it's not gonna go anywhere...isn't it kinder to say something in the general vein of the "just be friends" line than it would be to lead him on?
Ugh...that makes me sound like such a snob, but hopefully makes sense.
She sort of reminds me of that "Go-Go" chick from the movie "Kill Bill."
Be afraid... Be very afraid!!!
Mark
Just a lot more expensive, and they take a lot longer to house-train!
Mark
I've got a 'thing' for her. It's very wrong. I'll bet she talks dirty--through that crooked smile....
Very wrong.
Well said, and I'm sure you want to leave it at that.
This has nothing to do with a green card.
We already had a thread on that a couple years ago and it went up to thousands of posts, I think.
of = or
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