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What Japanese Women Want: A Western Husband
The Christian Science Monitor ^ | December 6, 2004 | Bennett Richardson

Posted on 12/06/2004 9:12:18 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece

TOKYO – The Japanese government wants women like Taeko Mizuguchi to get married and start doing something about the nation's plunging birthrate. But she's not interested.

At least, not if her prospective husband is Japanese.

A growing number of Japanese women are giving up on their male counterparts, and taking a gamble that looking abroad for love will bring them the qualities in a partner that seem rare at home. Mr. Right, as the hope goes, is often an American or European, a man appreciative of a wife's career and more of a partner in daily tasks.

"They treat you like equals, and they don't hesitate to express mutual feelings of respect - I think Western men are more adept [at such things] than Japanese men," says the 36-year-old Ms. Mizuguchi, who works at a top trading firm. "They don't act like women are maids - I think they view women as individuals."

Underscoring that Japanese women are losing hope with the local boys, dating agencies to help snag a Western husband have sprung up in Tokyo, some with branches in the US and Europe. Such companies rigorously vet their clients, screening for education, family background, occupation, and life goals.

The kind of women who sign up for such services include doctors, lawyers, and other professionals - women who have delayed marriage to concentrate on careers and who aren't keen to give up hard won gains to become a housewife, as many Japanese men expect.

Japanese women have come to consider traditional marriage roles as "disadvantageous in terms of time resources - they have to carry the burden of domestic chores as well as lose their free time," says Chizuko Ueno, a professor of sociology at Tokyo University.

Normally, married Japanese women have not only to look after their own parents during old age, but also to care for their parents-in-law. When it comes to raising kids, "they can't expect much cooperation from their partner" because of the long work hours required at many Japanese corporations and because of established gender roles that assume that the woman does the child-rearing, Ms. Ueno adds.

A generation of women who are now entering their 30s don't want to give up single life unless prospective partners are willing to break from traditional gender roles.

Government polls conducted to find out why women have put off marriage until well after 25 years of age - known as a woman's " 'best before' date" - show that economic independence is key to the change. As most Japanese women have their own income, marriage is no longer a financial necessity and women want to find companionship in a husband.

That is where Japanese men have come up short. There is "a wide gap in men's and women's attitudes and expectations toward marriage" vis-à-vis traditional gender roles, says Sumiko Iwao, professor of social psychology at Musashi Institute of Technology in Yokohama. For instance, coming home later than your Japanese husband is a no-no.

Having ruled out an old-fashioned Japanese husband, many women here think the solution is a Western man. Indeed, some seem so enthralled with the idea that they are willing to spend thousands of dollars to inspect the wares personally. Of the more than 2,000 women on the books at one large matchmaking agency, about 200 travel to the US or Europe each month to meet prospects.

Sentimental projections have recently been extended to Korean men also, due to romantic Korean soap operas.

In 2003, Japanese women marrying American or British men outnumbered Japanese men marrying American or British women by 8 to 1. The total proportion of Japanese marrying foreigners each year has crept up from around 3.5 percent in 1995 to just over 5 percent. Japanese men are actually more than three times as likely as the women to take a foreign spouse, but this is mostly rural men marrying less well-off Chinese and Filipino women. "Such cases are elderly farmers not popular among young Japanese women," says Yuriko Hashimoto, a local government employee in the remote northern prefecture of Iwate.

To be fair, not all the blame for female angst here can be laid on Japanese men. The government has been slow to enforce equal opportunity laws, and both pay and the glass ceiling in most Japanese corporations remain low for women. Recession has hampered longer maternity leave and other family-friendly policies.

As Japan's fertility rate drops to new lows - at last count it was 1.29, well below levels required for population replacement - the ruling Liberal Democratic Party is anxiously drawing up plans to make it easier for young couples to raise children, through such measures as the provision of cheap public housing.

Mixed marriages in Japan

Japanese men marry:
Chinese 10,242 Filipinos 7,794 Koreans 2,235 Americans 156 British 65

Japanese women marry:
Koreans 5,318 Americans 1,529 Chinese 890 British 334 Filipinos 117

Source: 2003 Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Japan; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS:
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To: PureSolace

No. I came to realize that attending church is not the same as having a love for God. At least not for me.


661 posted on 12/06/2004 2:23:04 PM PST by marajade
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To: TalonDJ

"but the chances are already looking pretty slim."

You never know... just when you least expect it, I bet she'll reveal herself to you...


662 posted on 12/06/2004 2:24:34 PM PST by marajade
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To: marajade
No. I came to realize that attending church is not the same as having a love for God. At least not for me.

Makes sense. :) ... so what were the other 29 characteristics? :)

663 posted on 12/06/2004 2:24:35 PM PST by PureSolace (A Conservative bases his politics from his morals, and a Liberal bases his morals from his politics.)
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To: Hi Heels
"There are nearly 2 to 1 more women than men."

I hope that's not true. If it is I must be uglier than I thought. Sad thing is, I'm only 29 and I'm one of the most gentlemanly men I know, and yet my luck with women...

664 posted on 12/06/2004 2:24:46 PM PST by Romish_Papist (USAF Security Forces (1994-2003) Soon to be ANG.)
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To: RosieCotton
I'd be happy to get popcorn and beer for some of the guys here!

If that's the case, I'll take a Guinness, please. :)

665 posted on 12/06/2004 2:24:51 PM PST by Dan from Michigan ("BZZZZZT You are fined one credit for violation of the Verbal Morality Statute")
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To: RosieCotton
Durn southern women...taunting me...

We don't have moonpies up here...

My definition of a moonpie is a lot different than y'alls. ;^)

666 posted on 12/06/2004 2:25:06 PM PST by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: RosieCotton
I'm sorry you don't have moonpies there. My hips would be happier if we didn't have moonpies here.

If I washed it down with a diet coke....does that mean I cancelled out all the calories?

667 posted on 12/06/2004 2:25:29 PM PST by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: PureSolace

Too many here to list... Plus that's just a little to revealing for a public forum... Honesty was very important to me though... and intelligence...


668 posted on 12/06/2004 2:26:21 PM PST by marajade
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To: Just another Joe
Southern Supper


669 posted on 12/06/2004 2:27:19 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: marajade

Bet kindness, a sense of humor, animal lover was on there too ;)


670 posted on 12/06/2004 2:27:58 PM PST by najida (Aunt to Miss Emily Ann- Cutest Baby in the World.)
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To: Dan from Michigan
Here ya are:


671 posted on 12/06/2004 2:28:30 PM PST by RosieCotton (He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative. - GKC)
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To: marajade
Too many here to list... Plus that's just a little to revealing for a public forum... Honesty was very important to me though... and intelligence...

Fair enough. :) Free Republic don't get enough of these forums... we're always too busy bashing the U.N. or whatnot. :) hehehe Thanks for all the responses. :) Entertaining and Educational. :)

672 posted on 12/06/2004 2:28:50 PM PST by PureSolace (A Conservative bases his politics from his morals, and a Liberal bases his morals from his politics.)
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To: Age of Reason

Well I've never felt the need to be controlled... my husband would say its a nearly impossible task anyway...


673 posted on 12/06/2004 2:28:50 PM PST by marajade
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To: Just another Joe
My definition of a moonpie is a lot different than y'alls. ;^)

I have no idea what you mean...but is it fitting that you got the 666?

674 posted on 12/06/2004 2:29:23 PM PST by RosieCotton (He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative. - GKC)
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To: pbrown
If I washed it down with a diet coke....does that mean I cancelled out all the calories?

Sounds reasonable to me...

675 posted on 12/06/2004 2:30:42 PM PST by RosieCotton (He is a very shallow critic who cannot see an eternal rebel in the heart of a conservative. - GKC)
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To: PureSolace

What's on your list?


676 posted on 12/06/2004 2:32:03 PM PST by marajade
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To: TattooedUSAFConservative
Actually there is a female majority, but not as severe as I had heard. Something like 3 million more women than men nationwide. Corrected that on another post.

Hang in there. And DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU WANT. Believe me, you'll pay if you do....and it is a heck of a lot easier being by yourself than trying to clean up the mess....

Just a bit of advice from a 50 y/o divorced single mom.

677 posted on 12/06/2004 2:32:40 PM PST by Hi Heels (Proud to be a Pajamarazzi.)
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To: RosieCotton; pbrown

Oh, heck yeah. In fact, you have a brownie credit....


678 posted on 12/06/2004 2:33:56 PM PST by Hi Heels (Proud to be a Pajamarazzi.)
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To: najida

I see nothing wrong with that picture. It has all the food groups but vegtables.


679 posted on 12/06/2004 2:33:58 PM PST by processing please hold (Islam and Christianity do not mix ----9-11 taught us that)
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To: Hi Heels

I think those extra women are over the age of 80 but it is a nice thought I suppose.


680 posted on 12/06/2004 2:34:19 PM PST by TalonDJ (FR really needs a singles thread....)
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