That's a very real difference, and it takes some explaining. People in the northeast don't go in much for superficial kindness, but value straightforwardness and honest communication. That's why there's no patience for long, winding questions and layers of conversational niceties. What comes across as abruptness and rudeness to southerners is simply direct speech that assumes that we're all in this together and we should all be sharp enough to carry on a fast conversation.
The politeness is expressed in respect for the other person's intelligence and awareness of what's going on. You view them as an equal. It's very refreshing and familiar if you grew up with it. But I agree that it's extremely off-putting to people who grew up with a different set of interactions that seems, well, mindless and fake by comparison. (I mean that completely subjectively.)
We do hide out in our homes in winter, but we spend the other seven months our in the streets, in the parks, and on the beaches while you folk are driving from one air-conditioned zone to another. :)
Despite my original entry into this thread, I find differences between northeastern Americans and southeastern Americans worthy of discussion, because there is so much misunderstanding and cultural friction. Lists like this one can hurt as much as they help. I think it's good to talk about why people behave the way they do.
Well at least we have a culture down here.
Bingo. Kindness is not an attribute up there. I totally agree. It was impossible to have a straightforward and honest communication with anyone because they wouldn't even use the universal body language of friendliness. We lived there 7 years. Perhaps they should invest in some of that air conditioning you seem to despise and the old folks wouldn't drop dead like flies every summer when it hits 80.
Also. Just to clarify. I married a "damn Yankee" from WI. He is straighforward and honest and finds me to be the same.