Dale_Earnhardt_Photo.jpg)
Posted on 12/04/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by chasio649
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Do not buy food at the movie store.
6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
8. People walk slower here.
9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.
23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.
24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.
25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"
26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.
27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.
28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.
29. Learn to play softball.
30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.
31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.
32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.
33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.
And your point is what? LOL, If you never heard it you never actually lived in the south.
Another one-Yes, bait is sold in vending machines outside Wal-Mart.
" Are you ashamed that your folks fought on the side of the south?"
Not at all. I was just trying to make the point that Texas culture is distinct from Southern culture. Either one is vastly superior to Yankee culture. I am a pick-up drivin rebel flag flyin son of a bitch and DAMN proud of it.
Well well, at it again eh? Look, just keep the capital flow a comin boys. Oh, don't forget to shovel the snow.
You didn't know that? Yankees forget how to drive on snow over the summer and the first snowfall of the year is like a demolition derby.
Ummmm... no. We carved off our hunk of Mexico ourselves and kicked Santy Anna and his thugs back south of the Rio Grandee a couple weeks after the diabolical atrocity of the Alamo.
Now we turn out the finest American Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen you'll find anywhere in the Yew-nighted States or anywhere else.
In some parts of the country, yes. When I lived in IL, however, people were MUCH calmer about snow threats.
Yep, Texas is kinda southwestern in culture, West Texas for sure. I used to live across the Sabine river from Texas in Louisiana, East Texas culture seemed not a whole lot different from Louisiana. They eat gumbo over there in Beaumont and Houston.
Gumbo is an american original. The word gumbo is a slave word. It is what slaves called the okra plant. Okra grew wild as did rice and sasafras root from which they got the spice file. Make a roux from flour and grease, throw in shrimp, oysters, sausage or even chicken and you've got gumbo. But, be sure to put okra in there or it aint gumbo.
But you couldn't have done it without Davy Crocket or Jim Bowie.
Excuse me...you are WRONG. Texas has always been a Southern State, and will continue to be. Read the Articles of Secession. It refers to our "Sister states of the South.
And I am a BORN TEXAN. (Not a Yankee :))
Read my posts again and unwad your panties.
I read your post. I still disagree.....Texas IS a Southern State.
TEXAS is TEXAS. That's all I'm saying.
And they have Aggies.
Why would they need dentist in tEXAS since no one has teeth?
You are getting TEXAS confused with Kentucky.....:)
On that we agree! :0)
Nobody's perfect :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.