Posted on 12/04/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by chasio649
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Do not buy food at the movie store.
6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
8. People walk slower here.
9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.
23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.
24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.
25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"
26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.
27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.
28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.
29. Learn to play softball.
30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.
31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.
32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.
33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.
cyborg ping my last post
43 - "1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
Actually my wife does save bacon grease. She uses it to make home-made suet cakes for the birds. By the time winter comes, she has quite a few in the freezer. We put out the first one of the season this week."
No wonder youall's yankee food tastes the way it does, you feed one of the best flavorings to the birds.
I'd love for someone here to find it.
That one is the best of all.
You know, I am thankful for our humid
summers or else I fear we'd be inundated
with yankees and CA folks moving South.
Southerners are almost to a man Scots-Irish. You can't help but notice the similarity to the freedom loving Scots in movies such as Mel Gibson's Braveheart. From a website on Scotland:
"The Scottish people have always been independent, individualistic, and have long memories. Also their land is sufficiently dramatic in itself. There is scarcely a yard of the country without its story to tell, of heroism and treachery, of warfare or worship, of flourish or folly or heartbreak - for the Scots never did anything by half."
Independent, idividualistic, and with long memories. No wonder Yankees had more than they bargained for in the civil with these descendants of the fighting Scot-Irish. Long memories? In parts of the south you'd think the civil war has never ended.
And music. Listen to "The Thistile and Shamrock," Scot-Irish music, and American Bluegrass, very little difference. Why one of Bill Monroe's famous recordings is "Scotland." The Monroe name is case in point, it is the name of one of the highland clans of Scotland.
To understand the south, its people, its music, read up on Scotland and Ireland.
44 - ""Yankee moves down to the South and then proceeds to complains about everything."
Not only that but try to convert us to their way of thinking."
Too true - Yankees Stay Home !
My mother used to save bacon grease. I don't know what for though *LOL*
"KennyBob"
I am ever so happy to see that you are following proper Texas protocol, name-wise. Any respectable guy HAS to have a double name...aaahh, the stories I could tell about the Bobby-Joe's, Guy-Walt's, Jimmy-Mac's, etc. I used to work for a yankee, transplanted to Texas. His name was Robert Charles...we turned him into a "Bobby-Chuck" and he loved it!
Yup
My family is Irish - Dublin circa 1754
Wife is seriously Scotch
That's true. Scot-Irish music is so beautiful and soothing to me. Maybe, it is that old Irish blood in me passed down from my father's side of the family.
Go in to a restaurant for breakfast in N. Florida and ask the waitress, "Do y'all have grits this far North?"
Birds?
Although I am planning on making a suet pudding for the family for New Years.
All I want to listen to much any more is Celtic music...it is my genetics talking to me, I think...racial memory...but how come my German and French bloodlines don't clamour for their piece of the the action?
That reminds me. If someone asks you to hold his beer before saying, "Watch this!", step WAY back.
Anybody got one of these lists for a Northwesterner moving to Utah?!
105-"My mother used to save bacon grease. I don't know what for though *LOL*
If your mother was a good cook, which it sounds like, you probably enjoyed it all your life growing up - that's what for.
yea sort of. What happens after they git ya out is up for discussion.
110- "Go in to a restaurant for breakfast in N. Florida and ask the waitress, "Do y'all have grits this far North?"
Good point, I always noticed that the dividing line between North and South is not the Mason-Dixon line, but the
'grits' for breakfast line.
ROFLMAO!!!!!
ROFLMAO!!!!!
As a youngster, I was like most everybody else brought up on rock and roll - despite the country and bluegrass music all around me. My Grandfather was a fiddle player. But then an amazing thing happened, can't explain it, I began to LOVE bluegrass music - and have ever since. It must be the Scot-Irish blood. It was as natural as riding a bike.
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