Sounds like you have your priorities straight.
Mosotly what it is is being comepletly unwilling to subject Caitlin to the same sort of miserable stuff I got to endure when I was growing up.
Drunkeness, shouting and people getting smacked around is NOT a healthy tradition.
So I pretty much dropped out.
We do fun, quiet things at home, instead... Caitlin and I usually do a few 4-H projects, one or two special foods, music in the house, and there is usually time for a movie or two or an ice-skating trip.
Caitlin has plenty of time to play with her new toys, and this year she will have the kids in the new neighborhood to play with.
It's just saner this way.