O, Canada!

Mullings ^ | 12/03/04 | Rich Galen

[pissant]

· President Bush traveled to Canada this week. Canadians are not, we are told, happy with the President because of the whole Iraq thing. Memo to Canada: Americans don’t much care what you think because we know that Canada’s biggest asset is sharing a billion mile border with us.

· Think I’m making this up? According to the CIA’s World Factbook, “Roughly 90% of the population lives within 160 kilometers of the US border.”

· If Canada were located in Africa instead of North America, it would be a country of 32 million white people in loin cloths barely surviving by eating wildebeest they had illegally cross-checked with hockey sticks.

· Nearly 87% of everything Canada exports, it exports to the US of A which works out to about a billion dollars per working day. How about if we close the border to Canadian imports every, say, Tuesday. For a year.

· Canada’s principal export has been comedians who come to the US because one of the many things Canadians lack is a sense of humor. And Mad Cow Disease. They export that. And a dreadful baseball team which is moving to Washington, DC.

· Canada’s principal import from the US has been draft dodgers. If we’re lucky, frustrated Kerry voters will produce the next great wave of immigrants into places like Saskatoon.

· OK, that’s not true, but this is: “[A] long-term concern is the flow south to the US of professionals lured by higher pay, lower taxes, and the immense high-tech infrastructure.”

· Here’s a good idea: Canada sends us its physicists and mathematicians (and maybe a shortstop who can hit a Major League slider), we send Canada … Michael Moore.

· A Canadian commentator on NPR earlier this week said Canadians were waiting to see what olive branch the President would be bringing. Canadians have so little contact with reality they believed President Bush was coming up there to apologize.

· For what? Oh, maybe for allowing Canadians to quake and cower under the defense umbrella of the big, bad United States. The total expenditures for defense of the whole country of Canada in 2003 was about $9.8 Billion. The US number? About $400 Billion.

· You’re welcome.

· In the run-up to the President’s visit there were concerns that there might be violence among Canadians in protest. Yeah. Right. What’s the first place you think of when you hear the word “protesters?” Kee-rekt: Canada.

· Here’s what the Toronto Globe & Mail said about the protests: “[They] were mostly peaceful, save for a small group that threw paint and burned a tire.”

· A TIRE! A, one, single, lone, solo, solitary. Oh, and they threw paint. Probably water-based. Canadians are nothing, if not tidy.

· What’s the national flower of Canada, the Pansy?

· For his part, President Bush was typically gracious and funny. At one point he said, “I, frankly, felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable, and I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave — with all five fingers.”

· It was not immediately clear if the Canadians got it.

[pissant]

A good review of Bush's trip to Canuckistan. Cheers

[secret garden]

I think he's mocking your homeland. At least you have hockey. I'm crossing my fingers about the current series of talks.

[Argh]

It was very funny and too much of it was true.

[Redbob]

Don't forget the P-14;
Para-Ordnance must be the only company worth a dang north of the border, now that my employer has locked out the strikers in St. Therese.

9Hint: The plant is right across the road from where GM used to build Camaros and Firebirds.0

[righto]

particularly in Tsuwassen

[Redbob]

"For his part, President Bush was typically gracious and funny. At one point he said, “I, frankly, felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable, and I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave — with all five fingers.”

Kinda funny, eh!

[Logical me]

Fantastic article. Really enjoyed it.

[Dog Gone]

How about if we close the border to Canadian imports every, say, Tuesday. For a year.

How about saying hello to $5.00 per gallon gasoline? That's what would be the result of this silly threat.

[Luddite Patent Counsel]

"· If Canada were located in Africa instead of North America, it would be a country of 32 million white people in loin cloths barely surviving by eating wildebeest they had illegally cross-checked with hockey sticks."

Wildebeest cross-check? That's a 2-and-a-10, eh.

[Phlap]

Bush won't be back to Canada before the end of his term but he did talk fishing while he was here so my guess is he will be back eventually.

[pissant]

I love Canada. Skiing the Okanagans & Red Mountain is nothing short of awesome. Finding a good beer or burger is another story....

[Mase]

I've always believed that Canadian contempt for the U.S. is nothing more than fear and jealousy masquerading as moral superiority. They seem to take great pride in not being American instead of being Canadian - a sort of anti-nationalism. I'd say they have some issues with confidence and esteem.

As a budget traveler after college I was surprised to see so many Canadians in all parts of the world with a big red maple leaf sewn conspicuously on their backpack or travel bag. I always tried to ask why they did this and the answer was always the same: "So we don't get mistaken for Americans". I asked what their reaction would be if I placed a large American flag on my backpack and the reply, again, was always the same: "You American's are so self important blah, blah, blah...You consume all the world's energy, cause global warming, start wars for oil etc. etc.

Not indicative of all Canadians I know, but it is representative of the many who blame the U.S. for much of the world's problem's and relentlessly ridicule our president at every opportunity.

[pissant]

I think at least 50% of Canadians are conservative. The deck is stacked against them due to chicanery by the liberals, inept conservative candidates, a MSM that makes the NYT seam reasonable, and no Rush Limbaugh.

[Mase]

"I think at least 50% of Canadians are conservative. The deck is stacked against them due to chicanery by the liberals, inept conservative candidates, a MSM that makes the NYT seam reasonable, and no Rush Limbaugh."


Wow! I never would have guessed that from my limited experience with Canadians. Where are all these conservatives? Certainly there is a leader among them that can bring them out of the woods. I've seen the vitriol of their leftist media - reminds me of France...

Maybe the Western part of the country should allow the East to secede and then start their own country with English as the official language and a solid relationship with their southern cousins.

[jeffphoto]

I noticed the Canadian Fag on the backpack bit in the 80s, when a whole raft of them were lined up to get into the "Air and Space Museum" in DC. Wouldn't want to be mistaken for anyone who has technology!