Court: Parents May Spank

ctnow.com (Hartford Courant) ^ | November 30, 2004 | COLIN POITRAS

[kidd]

Parents who spank their children as a form of discipline are not necessarily engaging in child abuse, even when they use a belt and leave a bruise, the state Appellate Court has said.

In a ruling released Monday, the judges recognized a parent's right to use "reasonable physical force" to discipline a child. They said that, before citing someone for physical abuse, the Department of Children and Families must take into account the circumstances surrounding the use of corporal punishment.

The judges said the agency's position that any non-accidental injury caused by a parent to a child qualifies as abuse is too narrow and in conflict with state law that allows "reasonable" corporal punishment of a child.

[lepton]

First, never spanking in anger. Oh sure you may be angry but that should not be the REASON for the spanking. The bad behavior should be the reason, not a bad mood on your part. Second remind them of your love afterward. I have watched my brother do this with his kids and it works well. First a kid is crying out of some kind of tantrum, then the spank comes and the cry instantly transforms into a real cry of 'my butt hurts'. Then my brother gives them a hug and says in a soft but stern voice 'do you know why I spanked you?' The crying kid slowly turns into a sniffling kid that nods his head. My brother asks 'why did I spank you?' and the child admits what they were doing wrong (it might take a couple questions to turn 'he would not let me have it' into 'I did not want to share with him').

This is very similar to my concept when I deal with kids, except that the hug comes after the admission and apology. Then we march on forward with the understanding that the punishment is over.

The spanking is part of making the punishment not drag on, and to bring a closure.

If I'm not allowed to spank, I won't take responsibility for the kids.

Spanking is done out of duty, never out of anger, and it is generally for defiance of lesser punishments, or repeated offenses.

[eccentric]

Some kids bruise easily, others don't bruise even when hit very hard. Does that mean that some kids can be hit harder than others?

and then there is that nasty ring that hit the kid in the wrong spot when he moved. Face it, kids get hurt more by silly accidents than spanking.

[blurb]

What if you hit an adult with a belt and left a bruise? Would they be justified in pressing charges? Bringing a lawsuit?

[TalonDJ]

It is interesting when they try to go with the line "well, so and so made me do it." That isn't an acceptable answer.

It teaching them a whole 'nother lesson to correct that way of seeing things. I think having the opportunity to teach TWO lessons at once makes that a good system.

[blurb]

Parents who slap their children because of their own frustration are showing how undisciplined they themselves are, and won't go far in instilling personal discipline in their children. Let's not get carried away in defending spanking with a belt, slapping in the face, etc. Let's accept the reality that it's really not a very good child-raising technique and thinking parents can do a lot better than that.

[American_Centurion]

Not if that "adult" is a dependent offspring of the person with the belt.

There's a difference pinhead.

[Prime Choice]

My parents used that line once. I responded, "So was slaverly, but that didn't make it right." They didn't see the humor and beat me black and blue.

Zounds. Could it be that we had the same parents?

[Labyrinthos]

Liberals don't want parents to spank, yell at, or home school children but they fully support killing them.

I have never, ever, spanked my kids; I raise my voice probably more than necessary; I could care less whether you home school your kids (I send mine to Catholic School); and I am about as anti- abortion as one can legally be. So please don't stereotype those of us who think that spanking your kids equates to lazy parenting.

[eccentric]

Are parents allowed to tell their teenagers to do housework? I was told 'no' in 1989.

[TalonDJ]

THEN maybe we'll talk about being friends!! Until then... lemme see yer homework!"

Right on man. I was personally kinda surprised to realize my relationship with my dad has changed to friendship. It made sense when I thought about it but in my early twenties I kinda did not see it coming.

[TXBubba]

Teenagers? You have to wait until they are teenagers? Oops.

[Alright_on_the_LeftCoast]

I certainly didn't come from trashy upbringing, nor do my sons...

I thank my parents regularly for the sometimes painful lessons I learned.

As a single mom of 2 teen-age sons, I'm raising 2 more examples of how a well-timed swat on the behind is a GOOD thing! They were spanked as needed when they were small... often enough to know I meant what I said!

Long before they grew as tall as me, "The Evil Eye" was all that was necessary to remind them I'm still the parent.

They're both respectful, polite young men that have never resorted to aggressive behavior to others.

[mvpel]

What if you hit an adult with a belt and left a bruise? Would they be justified in pressing charges? Bringing a lawsuit?

Adults are not subject to your discipline and correction. They are presumed, having attained the age of 18, to have learned how to properly behave in society. If they haven't, then it'll be the police applying the bruises with their Monadnocks, not their parents.

[MississippiMan]

I once carried my screaming, kicking, wailing two year old through a mall and to the car to spank him because I was afraid I would get reported for abuse.

A sadly justifiable fear in many places, I'm sorry to say.

MM

[MaineRepublic]

Do you think you have enough intellectual capacity to carry on a conversation without resorting to insults?

[TalonDJ]

please don't stereotype those of us who think that spanking your kids equates to lazy parenting.

Sure thing. Right after you stop stereotyping those that spank their kids. I can remember my mom spanking me and I can remember her being upset with me but I have a hard time recalling her yelling at me. I am sure it happened at some point but not often enough to leave an impression. Personally I prefer the spanking to the yelling. I will however, refrain from calling you a poor parent for not agreeing.

[AnAmericanMother]

Not only is each child different, each parent brings a different set of experiences to the mix.

My parents never crossed the line into abuse - I did get spanked on occasion (and I richly deserved it each time!) If I had been well and truly clobbered to the point that anticipation made me sick to my stomach -- well, I might in an excess of caution be opposed to all spanking, just to be on the safe side. So I understand where you're coming from.

[American_Centurion]

Hey, he asked a stupid question.

So he got an insulting jab with his answer.

I would jab an insult on you, but you're skin is too thin to take it.

[TheBigB]

Do you think you have enough intellectual capacity to carry on a conversation without resorting to insults?

...says the one who called people who spank their kids "trash."

[TalonDJ]

Do you think you have enough intellectual capacity to carry on a conversation without resorting to insults?

You started this snow ball rolling by calling over half the parent here 'trash'. I don't think you can claim higher moral ground on the 'insults' issue.