With all that in your background, I'd expect more from you than we've gotten.
Did you play at 11 with the same emotional intensity that you now play with, if you are still playing?
Do you really think that your obvious gift for the violin makes you the arbiter for what is and isn't crap? I'm about as opinionated as they come when the discussion turns to music, but I try very hard to remember that "This music is crap" really means "I don't like this music."
Ya. The me I was 20 years ago would puke at much of the music that has managed to accumulate on my hard disk. There is still stuff that I find absolutely unlistenable, but I thought the same thing about the 67th Psalm by Charles Ives the first time I heard it. That particular piece taught me the power and possibility that can be found in carefully crafted dissonance.