The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's
mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in
the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the
freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I
believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm
sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
ha. 'nother parrot joke.
A man is flying first class, and is a bit surprised that the next seat is occupied by a large parrot. After the seatbelt sign is off, the parrot squawks at the flight attendant, "Baby, bring me a $%^*ing coke." As the man starts to say "Excuse me, would you mind --" the flight attendant rushes off and comes back with parrot's coke.
The parrot slurps it down and hollers "You in the skirt, get me another %$%*ing coke!" and the man tries, "Could you please get me one too?" And once again the parrot gets a drink, and the man doesn't.
The parrot drinks it down and yells, "Another &%$#ing coke!"
And man yells "And get me one while you're &*$#ing at it!"
Two huge sky marshals come storming up, grab the parrot and the man, drag them to the back, and kick them out of the plane. They're hanging there in the air, and the parrot turns to the man and says, "I just wanna tell you, you really have balls - I mean, a guy like you with no wings or anything."
Mrs VS