You must be paranoid! Sleeping in your tin foil hat or what?
Jerri, it is a stock tecknique of the JW organization to blame the victim for the disastrous consequences of their policies and doctrines, as you are doing now.
Let's take an example. Back in the 60's the JW organization decided that Armageddon would come in 1975. Members throughout the world were encouraged to devote their lives to the organization because "Satan's wicked system of things" wasn't going to be around very long. Congregations proudly exhibited members who had quit their jobs, sold all their possessions and given the money to the JW organization, deferred marriage and school. Well 1975 came and went. The organization quickly denied that it had ever said that Armageddon would come in 1975 and pretended that some overenthusiastic members had started the thing on their own (which of course contradicted the obvious fact that in the JW organization NOBODY starts anything from below. Anyone who tried would be stepped on hard.). As for devout members who had bet everything on 1975 and lost, well, sucks to be them. They brought it on themselves.
In an ethically run organization, a bad decision has consequences for the leadership. A surgeon who committed malpractice, a stockbroker who blew a widows insurance settlement in penny stocks and commodity futures, a lawyer who blabbed his clients secrets, a teacher who molests a student cannot shrug, "Hey, the customer should have known better. They are to blame because it was their mistake." That won't wash. But the JW organization swept the entire thing under the rug as if it didn't happen because it operates on a lower ethical standard.
Now, you are using that with the mother of the abused child. In the JW organization, ALL internal conflicts are to be brought to the congregational elders on pain of disfellowhipping (i.e., expulsion. Her JW family would be commanded to disown her precisely when she needed them most.). Had she gone to the police she would have been disfellowshipped. Those are your rules. She was commanded to go to committe which demanded an impossible standard of proof (two witnesses to child abuse ?) and whose agenda was to restore the husband's "scriptural headship" over his family and encourage her to see how if she had been a better wife this would not have happenned.
The wife feels guilt because she trusted and believed in your church a lot longer than she should have. She made the mistake of equating your church with the voice of God. She should have seen that it was just smug, vain men who did not want to believe that evil could exist in their perfect, perfect world and not the voice of God at all.