Posted on 11/19/2004 4:43:16 PM PST by anniegetyourgun
Good evening, and welcome to an all-new “Insider Special Edition.” For Country Music Television, I’m Katie Cook, and tonight we take you on an exclusive, behind-the-scenes tour of the new William J. Clinton Presidential Center in Little Rock, Ark.
Our guide to this red-carpet glimpse into the halls of power — not to mention, a stunning collection of Elvis memorabilia — is the ultimate White House insider himself, Roger Clinton, half-brother of the president and an emerging country music name in his own right. Before we begin our tour, tell us about your new CD, “A Yellow Dog Howls.”
CLINTON: Well, Katie, I think it may be my best work since “Turtle on a Post.” I’m particularly proud of a duet I sing with Lynn Anderson, a revival of her old hit, “(I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You a) Rose Garden.” I dedicated it to my sister-in-law, Hillary. She’s good people.”
CMT: But tell us, Roger, how have your brother and Hillary withstood being the butt of so many jokes? For instance, just last week, a correspondent for the London-based Economist likened the $165 million Clinton library’s modern, steel and glass structure to “an expensive mobile home.”
CLINTON: Well, la-dee-da. He’s just showing his ignorance right there, because No. 1, manufactured homes don’t even use that floor plan anymore — basically, a rectangular steel box shaped like a cattle car.
I mean, look at it. Do you see any tie-downs? Vinyl skirting? No, nowadays, pre-fabs have all gone to double-wides, triple-wides. I once stayed in a repo in Telluride, Colo., and you wouldn’t even know it was a mobile home. I’m talking glamour tub, side-by-side fridge with a crushed ice maker, shingled roof, the whole deal.
CMT: Well, with that misnomer put to rest, shall we begin our journey?
CLINTON: You bet. Now, I thought about saving the best for last, but seeing as I’m kinda hungry, let’s begin right here at the library’s posh, three-star restaurant. See the sign? That was my idea.
CMT: “No public restroom?”
CLINTON: Uh, no. “Cafe 42.” Kinda takes you a minute to get the meaning. See, Bill was the 42nd president. Other than that, it’s modeled on the Planet Hollywood dining experience. Eight different Bubbaburgers, plus a double fudge brownie I highly recommend. Not to mention lots of glitter, lots of big names …
CMT: Such as … ?
CLINTON: “Stephanopoulos.” That’s a big one. International financier Marc Rich, when he’s, uh, in the country. And, of course, Tuesdays are open-mike night. You never know when James Carville will drop by and do his “Sling Blade” impression. It’s a hoot.
CMT: And over here, I take it, would be the gift shop.
CLINTON: Except with a twist. See, most gift shops offer souvenirs that are replicas, but these are the real McCoys. It’s museum-quality stuff. You see those silver spoons with the presidential seal on 'em? The pewter ashtrays from the Lincoln Bedroom? The brass spy glass stamped USS Washington? They’re the genuine articles, and each comes with a certificate of authenticity.
And before I forget, for the grand opening, selected CDs are 50 percent off, among them, “Yellow Dogs Howl,” a 34-CD books-on-tape edition of “My Life,” read by the president himself, plus a party mix CD of various artists, including Bill playing a saxophone solo on “Devil With the Blue Dress On.”
CMT: Speaking of music, what’s that I hear?
CLINTON: That’s Fleetwood Mac, which means we’re getting to my personal favorite part of the tour, the Whitewater Virtual Pirate Log Ride.
CMT: Am I going to get wet?
CLINTON: Naw, maybe just a little dirty. Watch your step getting into this golf cart — which, by the way, was once driven by presidential confidant Vernon Jordan himself — and fasten your lap belt. It gets a little bumpy. Almost looks like the real Ken Starr and Linda Tripp, doesn’t it?
CMT: Frightening.
CLINTON: But don’t worry, here we are at a scale model of Hope, Ark., recreated as a Putt-Putt course. This here’s the sport of kings.
ROFL! Just too realistic, sly.....
Looks more like a 34-B.
So, you've seen the originals have you?
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